F6
by Traveler42
Summary: Future Foundation Finds Fearful Fan Fiction (F6 for short) In the days after the Mutual Killing School Life, the survivors are working hard with the Future Foundation to help rebuild the world. But people have been making up stories about those events. Very strange stories. See the survivors' reactions to bad fan fiction!
1. Chapter 1: The Big Three

(AN: This fan fic was recommended by Nessie71, and I have read it before, and I admire the author, and I've wanted to do something with it for ages, and then I finally got the idea.)

Chapter 1: The Big Three

_Future Foundation Headquarters. 10:30 a.m._

"Mr. Togami, a new report just came in," said the secretary, slightly nervous.

Togami sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. "Bring it over here. It better not be a waste of my time." He moved his laptop to the side of his desk to make room for the file.

"Well, sir, i-it's… um, well…" The secretary stumbled over her words, trying to describe what the file was. "It's a confession… of sorts. It has to do with Super High School Level Despair." With those last five words, Togami lifted his head from what he was currently working on, his eyes staring intently at her.

"Why didn't you say so earlier? Any information will help. You know this."

"But it's obviously a false al-alarm… the grammar… spelling… direct contradiction of the facts…" Her stuttering was getting worse, much to Togami's annoyance.

"Spit it out already, or I'll have you put on cleaning duty!"

"Right, um," With a shaking hand the secretary handed the file to Togami and continued to try with her explanation. "You know how some people glorify the Mutual Killing School Life?" Togami nodded. "Well, some people have been writing… stories about it… and, well… this particular one has been spreading around the internet almost unnaturally fast, like a virus… And because it mentioned…you know…so I've asked for-" She was interrupted as someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." Togami said, and the door opened, an ahoge peeking out, followed by the rest of the person it belonged to, and following him was a long wave of purple hair.

"Mr. Naegi, Ms. Kirigiri… I'll leave you to it then. Hopefully any questions you have will be answered by the sticky notes in the file." The secretary bowed, and nervously walked away, wanting to leave before they started reading.

There was a small silence after she left. Naegi was the first to speak. "So… what's this about?"

"It was hard to understand, even without the stuttering, so let's just get this over with." Togami answered, placing the file on his desk so that all three of them could see it.

"Let's begin." The young detective said.

*'**"***"**'*

SO YAH DIS IZ TA FIST CHAPTA OV MA FANFIC CUZ ITZ AWSUM AND STUV. I UZED SPEL CHK ON DIS CUZ I RLY CAR ABOT ITTTTT!11111!11 DIS IZ MA FIRSD FANFICCC EVAH SO DONT FLAM. OK HER WI GO!

_**Togami: What is this nonsense? It doesn't make any sense.**_

_**Kirigiri: And this is related to Super High School Level Despair, how?**_

_**Naegi: Come on, it can't be that bad. **_

(base by grangerpixel)

_**Kirigiri: What does it mean by base?**_

_**Naegi: There's a picture here, maybe that's what it means.**_

_***Look it up on DeviantArt yourself to see the picture***_

_**Togami: What's wrong with her hair? And why are her hands so tiny?**_

_**Kirigiri: I would guess that it's dyed. The sort of color isn't natural. As for the hands…artistic license? **_

Hi! My name **(**watashi**)** Nagiko Jirijiri and I am thirteen years old.

_**Naegi: Look, there's a sticky note here. It says, "The original story is in English, but some words are in Japanese, and these are indicated by bold parentheses." What is that supposed to mean?**_

_**Togami: No idea. And isn't thirteen a little young to be involved in a high school?**_

I have ankle length rainbow colored hair that I was born with and sky blue eyes.

_**Kirigiri: I still stand by my statement. That hair is impossible. **_

I have very pale skin that shines likes the moon. I have scars on my upper back and on my palms from when I was young and I never show them to anybody because they are so ugly and I think they take away from my natural beauty.

_**Togami: Sounds like someone has a high opinion of herself. **_

_**Naegi: I'm not sure you're one to talk…**_

_**Togami: Right, 'Mr. Average' the one who has no self-confidence until-**_

_**Kirigiri: Boys, we get it. She's a little conceited. **_

I always wear purple fingerless gloves with metal plates on the back and a sunset colored mask to hide my mouth and nose. I also wear a black to blue ombre belly shirt and a short, plaid skirt. On my legs I wear tall black socks. People tell me that I am VERY **(**kawaii**)** and hot.

_**Togami: This is awful, absolute garbage. Who takes that long to describe their appearance?**_

_**Kirigiri: I bet you can't describe your clothing in only one sentence.**_

_**Togami: Tell her, Naegi. **_

_**Naegi: Well, um, let's see… I usually wear my Future Foundation uniform, which is a standard black suit and tie, white dress shirt, and a pin with the word for future on it.**_

_**Kirigiri: Togami, I asked you, not Naegi. **_

Anyway, I go to a school called **(**hopes peak academy**)**.

_**Kirigiri: Hmm, another sticky note. "School does not receive proper grammatical respect."**_

You have to be VERY talented to get in. I was enrolled under the title **(**Super Duper High School Level**)** Ninja.

_**Togami: What's with that title? It's not even remotely close to what it actually is.**_

_**Naegi: Well, the sticky note says, "There are many translations of the title and this story combined two versions. It is regarded as annoying to English speakers."…Huh. **_

Thats right. Im not just some pretty little girl. Im a ninja. A killer. I can do things that most boys wish they could.

_**Togami: Like we need more murderers in that humanity-deprived school.**_

But I was also Despair. SDHSL Despair. We took over Hope's Peak and, inevitbly, the world.

_**Kirigiri: How can she so nonchalantly claim to be someone who wants nothing but death, destruction and despair? **_

That is, until I met Naegi.

_**Togami &amp; Kirigiri: *Cold stares towards Naegi***_

_**Naegi: N-no, I've never met anyone like that! Honest! I-it's just a story, right?**_

It was two years after I came to Hope's Peak when that boy chnaged me forever.

_**Naegi: … Please stop staring at me, it's a little scary…**_

We all stood in the gym. Thats where the note Monokuma**(**-sama**)** wrote told us all to be.

_**Kirigiri: Actually, we were told to meet in the entrance hall to make our introductions. Then over the PA system he called us to the gym.**_

_**Togami: But why would she call that black and white devil sama? **_

Many of my class mates stood around me and I felt the horrible despair of knowing what would inevitably happen to all of them.

_**Naegi: Wait, I thought you liked despair, so why would you call it 'horrible'?**_

I walked around talking to all the despairingly boring students i would be stuck with.

_**Togami: Are you including me in this over-arching description? **_

_**Naegi: That's not fair, everyone is-was, interesting and unique in their own way. **_

Maizono was a jelous bitch and her singing voice was really terrible.

_**Naegi: What… the hell did she saw about Maizono? You can't judge someone you don't know!**_

_**Togami: Everyone does it all the time, so I don't see why you're so upset.**_

_**Kirigiri: I agree with Togami, but that sort of insult is uncalled for.**_

I cant stand pop idols because they are only famouse because they are pretty and most arent even that pretty. People tell me I am much prettier than all of them combined and my singing is much better.

_**Togami: If you're so great, why aren't you on the stage? Going on about how great you are is grating and a waste of time. **_

_**Naegi: But Togami-**_

_**Kirigiri: Shh. Give it a second.**_

_**Togami: …My claims are not unfounded, unlike this person's. **_

SOOO then Monokuma**(**-sama**)** told everyone that in order to get out we have to kill eachother butt I didn't really listen because I already knew all that crap.

_**Kirigiri: She doesn't seem to care about anything not pertaining to herself. **_

after the irrational punk tried to kill Monokuma**(**-sama**)** (like a weakling like him could...) everyone else decided to investigate.

_**Naegi: Owada wasn't a weakling!**_

_**Togami: But he was an irrational punk. **_

But then that damn jerk Oowada punched Naegi-kun!

_**Kirigiri: That makes it sound like Owada attacked without any provocation. **_

_**Togami: I believe Naegi was trying to stop my disagreement with him.**_

_**Naegi: Disagreement? You compared him to plankton.**_

I didn't know Naegi very well then, but he was totally cute so I walked up to Oowada and attacked him with my awesome ninja skills.

_**Kirigiri: Those are very vague skills. **_

I didn't kill him because Monokuma**(**-sama-sensei**)** told me not 2 kill anyone YET.

_**Togami: What is with these honorifics? And even if you did kill Owada, it would be the fastest class trial ever, as well as being the most boring. **_

Then I picked up the unconscious Naegi, to a JELOUS look from Maizono.

_**Naegi: You know what I said about giving this a chance? Well, I take that back and throw it out the window.**_

I took Naegi 2 his room and unlocked the door with my special key. I decided to wait for him here until he wakes up.

_**Kirigiri: She is blatantly not taking the facts into account. **_

_**Naegi: T-that… that bitch.**_

_**Togami: I don't appreciate that type of language in my office. **_

WUZ ITT GUD?!1111 let MI KNO!

_**Togami: I cannot believe anyone could actually be this stupid.**_

_**Kirigiri: Well, members of Super High School Level Despair are not exactly sane. **_

_**Naegi: Promise not to tell anyone about this? **_

_**Kirigiri: Deal.**_

_**Togami: Are you sure…? Fine. **_

*'**"***"**'*

When Naegi asked to keep it a secret, Asahina had just happened to be walking by. Curious, she poked her head through the crack in the door. Struck by a wave of mischievousness, she ran in, grabbed the file and ran off with it, holding it high above her head.

"What's this?" She asked, glaze covering her lips. "Is it top secret?"

"Asahina!" Naegi cried. "Give that back! You really don't want to read that!"

"You sure, well, come and get it!" Asahina knew that this was immature, but seeing everyone's faces was just too funny. She took off, Naegi running after her, but he knew he could never catch up.

Kirigiri and Togami just looked at each other when another secretary walked over towards them with a file in her hands. "Ms. Kirigiri" She said, "Do you want part two of that file?"

Togami considerably blanched. "Part… two? How many are there?"

"Sir, it's still continuing, and there are several others like it. I sent one over to Asahina this morning. Would you like to see it?"

"No thank you. If she's already read it, then it's fine." Togami resisted his morbid curiosity, but just barely. "How many others like it are there?"

"There's four that we know of, but there could be more."

Kirigiri finished the conversation. "Send them in."

(AN: I plan on doing multiple fics in this story, including You Shook Me All Night Long, Despair Infestation (but that one is going to be redone, so this one is iffy), High School of the Dead, and anything you guys recommend. DR1 fics only, and they have to be bad. Hope you enjoyed!)


	2. Chapter 2: The Little Three

Chapter 2: The Little Three

(AN: Sorry this took so long, but I've been busy and this chapter is long! The original story doesn't belong to me, that would be Kawaiiwolf3 on DeviantArt, master troll.)

_Future Foundation Headquarters, Earlier that day…_

"Ms. Asahina…. Ms. Asahina…. MS. ASAHINA!"

"Mmgh?" Asahina sputtered through the latest victim of her craving. Then she swallowed, licking the sugar off her hands. "What was that? Sorry…"

The secretary was not amused. "Maybe you would know what was going on if you looked up for just one minute away from your donuts. I said that I have a file for you to read."

"What's it about?" Asahina asked, her hand stretching towards the box of donuts on her desk, but then the secretary placed the file in her hand.

"Do not get any powdered sugar or glaze on this file. But it's… well… it's hard to describe, but it has to do with the Mutual Killing School Life, so the three of you were asked to read it. We know it can't possibly be real… but it's spreading fast across the internet, and there are others like it."

"What do you mean, others? And wait, the three of us?" Asahina was slightly confused, and trying to grab a donut with her other hand, but the secretary took the box from her.

"We've found at least four with a similar vein, and one of those will be sent to your classmates later. But I have called Mr. Hagakure and Ms. Fukawa here, so you three can finish it in one sitting, it's more efficient that way." With that the secretary walked away, holding the box of donuts, her heels clacking against the floor. As she opened the door to leave, two *ahem* unique individuals walked in.

"'Sup 'Hina!" Hagakure cried, his hair taking up more room than should be physically possible.

"S-so, wh-what do you want?" Fukawa stuttered, avoiding eye contact.

"Well, seems we have to read this file. Do you want a donu-oh." Asahina paused as she realized that the donuts were gone.

Fukawa grabbed the file out of Asahina's hands, "Can't have you getting your stubby, sugar covered fingerprints all over it." She explained. Opening it up, she read aloud the first page, which was a little bit of background information. "This was originally in English, but contained Japanese words, indicated by bold parentheses. We have been trying to track down the author, but we are having extreme difficulty. This is only Part 1."

The three of them walked to Asahina's desk, bracing themselves for who knows what.

*'**"***"**'*

**(**Danganronpa**)**: You Shook Me All Night Long

_**Fukawa: What k-kind of title is that? I-it sounds dirty…**_

_**Asahina: And 'shoot-refute'? Sounds like a made up word.**_

Chapter One: Crazy Train

**(**Konichiwa, mina-san. Atashi wa Santo Kanade desu.**)**

_**Asahina: Hello, Ms. Santo!**_

_**Hagakure: You don't have to reply back…**_

Okay, I can hear you all already; "YOU MISSPELLED SATO, YOU DUMB BITCH!"

_**Hagakure: Whoa! This chick needs to calm down! We weren't thinking anything like that, dude!**_

_**Fukawa: Maybe you weren't…**_

Well, actually, I'm half-Japanese, half-Italian, and my mother took on my father's name, so that's why it's Santo.

_**Asahina: That's actually kind of neat.**_

_**Fukawa: But what's the point of explaining that? **_

Anyways, I'm 16 years old, with dark blue hair I keep in a **(**hime**)** cut, brown eyes the color of tasty milk chocolate, and light skin, although it's light in the relative sense. What I mean is, it's lighter than usual, but I'm still not white. I'm obviously either Japanese or Italian. I'm 5 foot 1 and 100 pounds, which is actually pretty healthy for someone my height. I'm have a pretty muscular frame, but not bulging muscles. Think of a WWE Diva, and that's my build.

_**Fukawa: What a horrible character description.**_

_**Asahina: What's so bad about it? **_

_**Hagakure: Yeah, and 'character description'? Makes it sound like this story is fake.**_

_**Fukawa: F-first of all, the description is way too positive and long. Listing traits like that can bore the reader. And also, there is no way the Future Foundation would bother giving someone like me a real report, so this has to be fake.**_

_**Asahina: Oh yeah, I forgot that they don't think you're a real member… but how else are people supposed to know what she looks like?**_

I was accepted to the prestigious Hope's Peak Academy, which is just a school for talented teens like myself. How did I get in? Well, I started a band with some middle school friends, called "ChiUta."

_**Asahina: Never heard of it.**_

_**Fukawa: S-see? That proves it's fictional! Only a brainless mermaid like you would believe in silly things like fairy tales!**_

_**Hagakure: Dudettes, you're already fighting and we barely started. **_

It wasn't your usual **(**'kawaii**)** pop' band, though; it was a rock band. I mean, if the name "Blood Song" didn't tip you off, then I don't know what to say to you. I am the oldest member.

_**Asahina: But if you're 16, then everyone else is younger than you?**_

_**Fukawa: Like we need more children with inflated egos. **_

One of our songs, "Silent Cicadas," went platinum, and since I was the only one in the band old enough to go to high school, I was accepted under the title of "Super High School Level Rock Band Lead Singer."

_**Asahina: We kind of already had a signer in the school, and I think there was an upperclassman who was a musician too. **_

And since Kanade means "performance" in Japanese and Santo can mean "Blessed" or "Holy" in Italian, it was almost like I was born to be on the stage.

_**Fukawa: A-a name doesn't m-mean anything. Not everything has to be symbolic. The likelihood of that happening by chance i-is very, very low. **_

Of course, I changed my name and persona on stage. Off stage, I can't lie worth my skin, and I'm considered very nice, if not blunt. On stage, I have a spoiled princess complex, and everyone must cater to me.

_**Fukawa: How is that attractive?! Nobody likes a sp-spoiled pampered brat like y-you!**_

_**Hagakure: I dunno, Togami's pretty full of himself and-**_

_**Fukawa: That's because my White Knight is perfect in every way and that doesn't change the f-fact that this 'Kanade' is a stupid little girl!**_

_**Asahina: You seem really determined to hate her…**_

That's why on stage, my name is **(**Hime-Kami**)**, while my friends are **(**Tsun-Kami**)**, **(**Loli-Kami**)**, **(**Ane-Kami**)**, and **(**Yan-Kami**)**, after the stereotypical anime archetypes.

_**Fukawa: S-see, she likes that '2-D' garbage! I bet she doesn't even use the terms correctly.**_

_**Hagakure: Kind of reminds me of Yamada…**_

I stood in front of the school, with my hair down. I was wearing the outfit I wore in Silent Cicadas, a blue shirt cut so it showed off my stomach with a red tie and blood-colored pocket (read: pink)

_**Fukawa: What does that mean? B-blood has always been that color… the way she phrases it makes it sound unusual.**_

_**Hagakure: I'm getting a vision… a yellow eyed girl turning into a domamatrix banana-head, getting attacked by a disco ninja frog! Wait… **_

with my band's name spelled out in **(**Hiragana**)**, a red pleated skirt, and black boots with grey laces. I had more outfits with me, but I made sure to bring quite a few copies of this particular outfit with me, because I felt that it represented why I got in.

_**Asahina: That was a little long.**_

I looked up at the school, and took a deep breath. This would be no harder than going on tour, right?

Turns out, I was dead wrong.

I had blacked out almost immediately after stepping onto the school grounds. I woke up in a classroom that had steel plates bolted to the windows. I felt heavy, like I had just stayed up all night writing a new song, but nothing was going right. I saw a pamphlet, that declared the 'opening ceremony' would take place at 8 AM.

_**Asahina: I thought it said just to meet at the entrance hall.**_

_**Fukawa: I'm surprised you can remember something that long ago.**_

_**Asahina: Hey! My memory's fine-**_

_**Fukawa: Like a goldfish?**_

And it was about 7:55.

"Oh crap!" I whispered. I didn't care that I couldn't find my suitcase, I just needed to be on time!

I started high-tailing it to where I had come in. No one had passed me while I was running my little legs off, but that was because I seemed to be the last to arrive.

_**Hagakure: I'm thinking…**_

_**Fukawa: This can't be good…**_

_**Asahina: Is it even possible?**_

_**Hagakure: Hey! But wasn't Naegi the last one there?**_

_**Asahina: I think he's right… um, Hagakure was right about something. Fukawa, are pigs flying right now?**_

_**Hagakure: Huh? Wait, you're insulting me! I-**_

_**Fukawa: Forget the pigs, let's go see if Naegi can fly.**_

_**Asahina: What about Togami?**_

_**Fukawa: He doesn't need the universe to turn on its head to be able to defy physics…**_

_**Hagakure: Um, I'm still here…**_

"Fellow classmate!" one of them yelled, a real stiff looking one. "You are late!"

_**Asahina: Ishimaru. **_

_**Fukawa: What was your first clue?**_

"Sorry, sorry!" I said, not feeling like putting on my **(**Hime-Kami**)** front right now. "I had passed out when I got here, and the time just-"

"Oh, so it seems we are all in the same predicament," another student said. She was a girl, with a Gothic Lolita dress on.

_**Hagakure: Gotta be Celes. **_

She had a mysterious air about her, like she could snap your neck and you'd still like her.

_**Asahina: What? That doesn't make any sense, if she snapped your neck you'd be dead!**_

_**Fukawa: I-it's a typical romantic description, the 'despite everything, love prevails' sort of ideal… but it's really delicate and easy to misuse.**_

_**Hagakure: I don't get it, and it doesn't sound like Celes.**_

It reminded me a bit of **(**Yan-Kami**)**, my closest friend and ex-girlfriend.

_**Fukawa: I knew it, I knew something was wrong with you! Now it all makes sense, you're deprived, aren't you? And you decided to unleash your sick fantasies on the rest of us...**_

_**Asahina: Aren't you jumping to conclusions a bit too much?**_

Oh yeah, before I go any further into my story, I want to make one thing crystal clear: I am bisexual. What does that mean? It just means I find both males and females attractive. Usually, someone has a slight or strong leaning towards one gender or another, but I find both genders to be equally attractive.

_**Hagakure: That exists?**_

_**Asahina: Where have you been?**_

_**Fukawa: Ha! T-that's rich. Like a person of either gender would want to be with you. **_

I'll give you a quick run down on the people I didn't have a lot to say to. That's not to say that they aren't important; it just means that I didn't have much to say at the time.

The Gothic girl decided that it would be a good time to introduce ourselves. So, I went to her first. Turns out, her name is Celestia Ludenberg, Super High School Level Gambler. She reminded me almost too much of **(**Yan-Kami**)**, which made me a bit uncomfortable, but I kenw we were gonna get along well.

_**Asahina: I thought she was a little creepy… and scary.**_

_**Hagakure: True as truth, man.**_

Next, I went to a girl who had blonde pigtails. She was Junko Emoshima,

_**Fukawa: She can't even spell **_**her **_**name right, l-looks like she really is an idiot.**_

_**Hagakure: But you got to admit, Emo-shima is kind of funny, especially that one personality.**_

no questions asked. She didn't look exactly the same, but she was still knockout hot, because she was a model.

_**Asahina: *ahem***_

Sadly, she had the mental absorbency of one-ply toilet paper.

_**Fukawa: T-there's some other people who would fit that description better…**_

_**Hagakure: Why do you have to insult us every, um, five, two, carry the seventy, all the time?**_

Then, I went to the stiff white one, Kiyotaka Ishimaru. He seemed nice enough, if not a bit socially awkward. He truly believed he was doing right. It was kind of cute, in a pathetic way.

_**Asahina: That's pretty accurate, except for the whole 'pathetic' bit.**_

He was, as I suspected, a hall monitor.

Then, a cute girl who reminded me of **(**Loli-Kami**)** introduced herself as Chihiro Fujisaki, but said I could use 'she ' and 'they' pronouns for her. I nodded and smiled. Fujisaki was just so damn cute! She was quite shy, but I didn't mind. Besides, she was super smart, being a hacker.

_***Not at all suspicious coughing* **_

Next, Mondo Owada, the gang leader. I didn't really talk to him, because we didn't have much to say. He did say he liked Silent Cicadas, though, so he wasn't all scary.

_**Fukawa: I-I don't see him being that open about his taste in music…**_

_**Asahina: Then what stuff do you listen to, Fukawa?**_

_**Fukawa: N-none of your business!**_

I tried my best to avoid him, but someone named Hifumi Yamada introduced himself to me as the **(**Ultimate**)*** Doujin Author, working with 2-D porn. Well, he didn't say that last bit, but that's basically what doujin is. The good news was, I wasn't 2-D, so I at least wouldn't be in his next tentacle fetish doujin. But, hey, I'm being a bit too harsh. He's allowed to express himself as he pleases. But… he could stand to lose a few pounds.

_***Uses different word for student titles, but means same thing. Sort of.**_

_**Fukawa: H-how accurate. Maybe… she isn't that bad after all.**_

_**Asahina: Are you saying something positive?**_

_**Hagakure: That's the attitude! No need to be so gloomy.**_

Next, a romance writer, Toko Fukawa. I loved her books. One of my favorites is "Before Cicadas Fall Out," which is what inspired me to write Silent Cicadas.

_**Fukawa: Well, at least the whelp knows quality writing when she sees it.**_

_**Asahina: You are really falling for flattery? **_

_**Fukawa: Honestly, that one is one of my old shames…**_

_**Hagakure: Come on, what's it about?**_

_**Fukawa: L-like you're literate! **_

Sadly, her talent was more akin to "Victim Complex" than anything else. I understand people get bullied, but god damn, don't let them step on you!

_**Fukawa: T-that's because people only pretend to be nice to me… much like you.**_

_**Hagakure: And Ms. Gloomy is back.**_

Next was some fortune teller named Yasuhiro Hagakure. He seemed nice enough, if not gullible as all hell. I was hoping that he'd at least feel a bit of concern. But he was just a 'go with the flow' kind of guy. Can't blame him.

_**Asahina: Again, pretty accurate.**_

_**Hagakure: I'm not gullible! **_

_**Asahina: What's the most expensive thing you bought?**_

_**Hagakure: That crystal ball that wasn't really crystal that the sales dude belonged to Napoleon and George Washington. Um, I don't get- hey!**_

Next, a loudmouth baseball player, Leon Kuwata. He was the womanizer type, so I was almost tempted to lie and say I was a lesbian. But, I knew that was an alsshole thing to do, so I kept my sexuality to myself.

_**Fukawa: Nobody asked you to go out with him.**_

_**Asahina: She's got a point. **_

Next, a beefcake name Sakura Ogami. I was just scared. I mean, I'm 5 foot 1 for god's sake! I didn't want to get on her bad side! If I did, I'd probably become a Kanade pancake, no doubt.

_**Fukawa: I'd like to make you into a pancake, with all the spelling errors floating around.**_

After her, was her much smaller friend, Aoi Asahina. Asahina had such a bubbly personality, I couldn't help but smile. She was such a cutie! Sadly, she wasn't the brightest bulb in the box.

_**Asahina: Well, Sakura and I weren't friends right off the bat… but we warmed up to each other pretty quickly… and did she just call me stupid!?**_

_**Fukawa: Why are you so surprised?**_

So, that just leaves me foru more, and trust me, they do deserve to be talked about.

The first one was tall, blonde, and pricky. He looked like he was rich. Even his glasses looked rich.

_**Fukawa: My White Knight is not a prick! He's wonderful and perfect and you don't deserve to be in his presence!**_

_**Asahina &amp; Hagakure: …**_

"Name's Byakuya Togami," the boy said. "Super High School Level-"

"Heir, I know," I said coldly. I rolled my eyes. "That one horrible company that is going to take over the world, right? Yeah, keep dreamin', prick," I growled.

_**Fukawa: You don't speak to my precious-**_

_**Asahina: Calm down, Fukawa. You have to admit, he is rude sometimes. **__**Like all the time…**_

"I'm Kanade Santo, Super High School Level Rock Band Lead Singer. Ain't it fun livin' in the real world?" With that, I turned on my heel, and walked away. I could hear him stuttering, almost like he finally couldn't believe that someone wasn't kissing his ass.

_**Fukawa: How dare she?! My White Knight's ass is-**_

_**Hagakure: Whoa, whoa, I don't think we need to hear about Togami's ass…**_

_**Asahina: Agreed. **_

But the next girl was worse.

"Oh em gee, Santo-san?"

I gasped, looking at the girl. I put on my best fake smile, which looked strained. Fortunately, she was dumb.

"Maizono-san! Long time no see!"

_**Asahina: Maizono wasn't stupid. And I'm pretty sure she didn't talk like that.**_

_**Hagakure: Agreed. She got better grades than I did.**_

_**Fukawa: And that's an accomplishment, how?**_

Yep, Sayaka Maizono.

I can hear you guys again. "What, more girl hate?" Well, it's more complicated than that. First off, her band, the **(**'kawaii'**)** shit, was rivals to ChiUta, so I had to be in competition with her. If not, she may put ChiUta out of business. But there was another layer to that.

_**Asahina: How is competition bad? It usually helps me swim faster, trying to beat that one person.**_

_**Fukawa: True, whenever I read a good piece of literature, I always wanted to make something just as good, s-sometimes better.**_

You see, Sayaka was why I broke up with **(**Yan-Kami**)** in the first place.

She had acted like a lesbian, and she was so cute, and at the time, **(**Yan-Kami**)** and I were already having a fall-out. I broke up with **(**Yan-Kami**)**, and asked Sayaka out. That's when Sayaka told me that she was just trying to break my band up, so she could have all of the spotlight.

_**Hagakure: That's pretty brutal. I guess that's showbiz. No wonder Maizono was the first to snap.**_

Thankfully, **(**Tsun-Kami**)** had heard it, and ChiUta was saved thanks to her. **(**Loli-Kami**)** shut down any attempts at my secret getting out to the public, and **(**Ane-Kami**)** was there for me.

_**Asahina: What secret? **_

_**Hagakure: The break-up? Asking Maizono out? Dunno. **_

_**Fukawa: Doesn't sound like much of a secret, after all, the nosy press always find out.**_

I respect Sayaka as a performer. I do not respect her as a human.

After that horribly embarrassing experience, I found a boy with a tall ahoge, standing in the corner, a bit awkwardly. He was too cute! I went up to him.

_**Hagakure: I'm getting a bad feeling, and another vision…**_

_**Asahina: You've got to be kidding me.**_

_**Hagakure: It's a… man without a nose being carried by a rat man… and the rat man used green light on a disco ball…**_

"Hi, I'm Kanade Santo, Super High School Level Rock Band Lead Singer! Nice to meet you!"

"Hi," he said, seemingly star-struck. "I'm Makoto Naegi, Super High School Level Good Luck. That just means I got in from a raffle. Pretty stupid, right?"

"No, I think that's really cool!" I said. He blushed. It wasn't like he was shy, but I could tell he was definitely intimidated with all of us SHSL around him.

_**Fukawa: Sounds like Naegi…**_

_**Asahina: Not sure he would call his talent stupid. **_

"Don't worry, I'm nothing like the **(**himedere**)** front I put up. I'm actually really nice!" I said. I pointed to Togami. "You see him over there? He's a dick. Just say hi, don't tell him that I told you that he's a fucking douche."

_**Fukawa: Stop insulting my White Knight you-**_

_**Hagakure: Calm down, please don't go Genocider on us… please?**_

_**Asahina: Even I admit that's a bit harsh, especially since she just met him. **_

But I could see the spark in his eyes.

He was already thinking about getting his brains banged out by him.

_**All three: WHAT?!**_

_**Fukawa: She-what-my-him-and-huh? **_

_**Asahina: I'm pretty sure Naegi only has eyes for Kirigiri right now…**_

_**Hagakure: Even I couldn't have predicted that! Fukawa? Fukawa, you in there?**_

_**Fukawa: I don't-**_

_**Asahina: I think she's broken. **_

Before I could say anything, Naegi was introducing himself to Togami. Great.

The last one approached me.

"I suspect that Naegi-kun has a crush."

_**Asahina: Yeah, on Maizono! Who you hate for no good reason! Your band doesn't even exist. **_

I tuned around, and I was face to face with lavender eyes.

The girl had a **(**hime**)** cut, not unlike my own, and one part of her dusty purple hair was tied in a braid. She was wearing a purple jacket, a cute little tie, a white shirt, gloves, a short skirt, and boots. Her skin was a pale a snow. She looked like she could see through everything.

_**Asahina: I think the grammar's getting worse.**_

"Y-Y-Yeah," I said, stuttering. This was so unlike me. "Ah, I'm, um, Kanade Santo, Super High School Level-"

"Lead singer of some form of band. From the way your voice hits the lower notes, and you have hard accents on certain words, I'm going to guess rock band."

_**Hagakure: I'm kind of impressed. **_

_**Asahina: Wonder if Kirigiri can actually pull something like that off.**_

"Y-Y-Y-You're right.," I was able to stutter out. "Rock band lead singer, nice t-to meet you…"

"Kyoko Kirigiri," she said. "I… don't remember my talent."

_**Asahina: That's not like Kirigiri at all! She didn't even tell us until after… Sakura's death, after Togami asked her about it.**_

"I-It's fine," I said, still stunned from how knockout gorgeous she was.

_**Hagakure: Sounds like someone has a crush.**_

Just before I could ask her anything else, the speakers went off. A horrible grating voice came onto the speakers.

"Testing, Testing, is this thing on?"

_**Asahina: Thank goodness it's over. **_

_***'**"***"**'***_

The trio couldn't do much except stare in shock. They didn't know what to expect, but this definitely wasn't it. Hagakure was the first to recover.

"Welp, I'm… gonna go. Yeah, see what's up." He left, walking faster than his usual casual stride.

Asahina was the next to leave.

"I… um, I need some doughnuts." She ran off, looking for her pastry of choice.

Fukawa was left alone, unsure of what to do. Simply throwing it away was too good for it. But her White Knight couldn't see it, under any circumstances. Holding the file tightly in her arms, Fukawa started looking for the nearest incinerator.


	3. Chapter 3: Sinking Ships

Chapter 3:

_Future Foundation, _

"No, no and no! We are not reading that again!" Naegi protested.

"But sir," the nondescript secretary pleaded, "We need to see if there are any hints to these author's locations and since you six are the most knowledgeable about the event in the school-"

"Then let someone else read it." Naegi continued his protest.

"Stop your whining and get on with it." Togami said.

The secretary paused and then handed a file to each of the two guys. "I figured you would want to split these two files. Mr. Naegi, that is part 2 from the file you read, and Mr. Togami that is a different file called 'Despair Infestation'. You can pick and choose who reads with you. More eyes the better, at least that's what I think that's what the saying is."

Naegi frowned, "I want Kirigiri, I think she's the only one calm enough to handle this."

"Anyone but Fukawa." Togami muttered.

The secretary nodded. "Alright, sirs. I'll send Kirigiri and Fukawa with Naegi, and Asahina and Hagakure with Togami."

Both of them sighed, knowing that they had no choice and their ordeal would not be a pleasant one.

*'**"***"**'*

_**Kirigiri: So we have to read more of this. Naegi, you do know how thrilled I am about this, right?**_

_**Naegi: Um, I know… Sorry… was that sarcasm?**_

_**Fukawa: I've h-had enough of your lover's spat… it can't be worse than the one I had to read.**_

_**Naegi: L-lover's… You've got that wrong! We-we're just friends…**_

_**Kirigiri: … **_

AN: SU, LIK TEH FIRSTD CHAPTA WUZ A HUGE SUCESSS AND KIBOU-FULLY DIS 1 WILLLLL BI 2.

_**Fukawa: T-this is just as bad, almost worse with the incomprehensible sentences. The writer is clearly a delusional second grader.**_

_**Kirigiri: You're being generous. **_

SUM PPL HAV BEAN BIG MEANIE BAKAS AND SED THATT NAGIKO-CHANZ HAR IZ 2 COLRFUL, AND THEYREEEE RONGSSS. NAGIKOZ HAIRRR IS PRETTY AND KAWAIIIII!11111 WATASHI WORKD RLY HARD ON DIS SO DONT FLAM. ALSO, IM NUT A TROLL! PPLE TELL MI IM RLY PRETTY!

_**Naegi: Um… I didn't understand that. Do I need to know?**_

_**Kirigiri: A basic translation would be: "The people who hate this are wrong because my character is awesome and I put real effort and my ego is bigger than the amount of money Togami has"**_

_**Fukawa: Was the falsetto really necessary?**_

base by grangerpixel

A little while later, Naegi woke up and I was sitting next to him. He smiled.

"Nagiko, thanks for bringing me here." He said in a totes sexy voice.

_**Fukawa: I hate that word! 'Totes' is not proper language and is even worse than the word is derives from, 'totally'. You can just say what is without need for emphasis. Readers get the point. Also, Naegi's voice isn't that great, especially compared to my white knight!**_

_**Naegi: That was little mean…**_

_**Kirigiri: Don't let that get you down. Your voice has a great range.**_

I blushed but he couldn't see it because of my mask.

"No problem." I said, remembering how easy it was to beat up that weakling with stupid bread hair,

_**Naegi: Stop insulting Owada! He was strong, and his hair was pretty cool. **_

_**Kirigiri: Though he kept insisting that it was a baguette. **_

"Everyone else is investigating, but I decided to stay here with you because I was so worried." But I wasnt really worried. I never get worried because nothing scares me. I was just saying that be be nice.

_**Fukawa: T-that's rude. If you don't care, then why are you wasting your time with him?**_

"You were? I didnt think a strong girl like you would be worried about an average guy like me."

_**Kirigiri: That actually sounds a bit like Naegi.**_

_**Naegi: N-no it doesn't! Well, maybe…**_

"Huh? You think I dont have emotions?" I faked being upset.

_**Kirigiri: She can't be serious.**_

_**Fukawa: Everything she writes just reeks of hypocrisy, like the smell of vomit from a drunkard that's had a few too many drinks… but then again, everyone's a hypocrite. **_

"N-no!" He looked sooo cute when embarressed, "I-I just meant that-"

_**Fukawa: Even Naegi's a hypocrite. H-he says he hates th-this, but his face is getting red…**_

_**Naegi: Well… that's… it's embarrassing… I mean... help me out Kirigiri…**_

_**Kirigiri: … **_

"Only joking!" I said with a laugh.

"R-right." He said, "Why dont we go to the cafeteria and talk to the others."

"I dunno..." I said. I dont like dealing with people very much because they are always mean to me because I am a ninja or they are jelous of my hair.

_**Kirigiri: Trust me, nobody is jealous of you. **_

_**Fukawa: Ditto. Arrggghhh…. Look at what this has done to me! Making me use a common slang phrase like 'ditto', ugh...**_

Once when I was little, a bad man tried to cut it all off and sell it.

_**Naegi: How much would rainbow hair sell for?**_

_**Kirigiri: Well, it would be initially be assumed that her hair is dyed, and people chop off their hair to charities all the time… **_

_**Fukawa: Pr-probably worth less than mine…**_

_**Kirigiri: That is likely.**_

_**Fukawa: Wait, what? You weren't supposed to agree with me!**_

_**Kirigiri: Well, I'm assuming that your hair is longer, which makes it more valuable. Back to the point, hair wouldn't be worth a ridiculous amount, like the delusional girl is suggesting.**_

People are always jelous of me.

_**Naegi: You said that already. And you're still wrong. **_

"Its ok! Im sure evryone loves you!" He said as if he read my mind. I wasnt expecting that, "I mean, youre really kawaii and cool, and you were nice to bring me here and watch over me when no one else would."

_**Naegi: YOU'VE GOT THAT WRONG! First off, I would never say anything like that! Second, nobody likes you and your incessant chatter about who know what? But guess what? Nobody cares! You're not cute or cool, you're creepy, egotistical, hypocritical, narcissistic, rude and disrespectful, making light of a serious and important event! **_

_**Fukawa: The Preacher of Hope has spoken. Amen.**_

_**Kirigiri: *snicker* That was pretty funny. And Naegi, have you finished letting off steam?**_

_**Naegi: I think so… for now.**_

"Ok then." I said. We left his room and went to the cafeteria where everyone was sitting at the tables. A bunch of the girls looked jelous, especially Maizono, the stupid bitch.

_**Naegi: AGAIN! What is with the Maizono hate?! She was a good person who fought hard for her dream and didn't want it to disappear! **_

_**Fukawa: C-calm down…**_

_**Naegi: You're telling me to calm down?! What if she insulted Togami?! **_

_**Fukawa: Been there done that… **_

_**Kirigiri: Let's just finish this and once we find the author of this trash, stab them with a rusty spork.**_

_**Naegi: That's surprisingly violent… and it's sounding better by the second.**_

All the boys looked at me like they loved me, except Togami. He was looking at Kirigiri, the cute one with long silver hair.

_**Fukawa: M-My White Knight would never fall for that detective girl! **_

_**Kirigiri: And why not?**_

_**Fukawa: He would never go out with someone smarter than him! I mean, not that my White Knight is lacking in the intellectual department… um… you un-understand, right?**_

_**Naegi: That's true, Togami's pride is… very important to him.**_

It was nice that someone wasnt staring at me for a change.

_**Kirigiri: Don't sound so surprised. Togami would never stare at anyone, since he's a prick.**_

_**Naegi: Kirigiri! That's rude to say! **_

_**Kirigiri: It's true, though. **_

_**Naegi: He can be a bit rude, but it isn't that bad…**_

_**Fukawa: Yeah! My White Knight's-**_

_**Kirigiri: Tell them, Naegi. **_

_**Naegi: What? Isn't that…**_

_**Kirigiri: Yes it is. Isn't it annoying and condescending? Now tell them, Naegi. **_

_**Naegi: Togami's a bit of a prick. Happy?**_

"Hey everyone!" Naegi said. He was always too nice to people, but i guess that was a good thing.

_**Fukawa: Ha, th-that's pretty accurate. **_

"Hi guys!" Fujisaki said. Fujisaki was one of the few people nice to me. I knew he was a boy, yes, a boy, because I still had all of my school memories since Monokuma-sama and I were on the same page. I liked him alot as a friend but I despairingly couldnt let it show because he didnt remember.

_**Naegi: It's weird… I can't think of anything wrong here, besides the lack of apostrophes. **_

_**Kirigiri: I can. Ikusaba was already here, and Oogami was being blackmailed by Monokuma, why would Junko need another person on her side? **_

_**Naegi: That's a really good point. Not to mention it changes the numbers from 16 to 17. **_

"What took you so long?" Fukawa glared at me, "What were you two DOING in there?"

_**Kirigiri: That doesn't sound out of character for you.**_

"Naegi was sleeping and I was watching over him." I said. I knew she was jelous of me too.

_**Fukawa: I've already told you, I'm not jealous. I may be garbage, but at least I have a functioning brain.**_

She was really ugly, both in looks and personality, but I'd never say it unless I had to.

_**Fukawa: Oh you little… just because it's true doesn't mean that you have to say it!**_

_**Kirigiri: So let me get this right. You and Togami are the only ones allowed to insult you.**_

_**Fukawa: T-that's basically right… **_

"Well, you're here now." Said Celes, or Taeko Yasuhiro. Thats right. She always covers up her real name, but Im not gonna tell her I know. Not unless I need to…

_**Naegi: Good luck blackmailing Celes, she'd tear you to pieces.**_

_**Kirigiri: She wouldn't have put up with anything this bad. It would get burnt to a crisp. **_

"Yep." I said. Everyone discussed what they had found. I didnt listen because I knew everything about the school already, even more than the original builders. Of course, Monokuma-sama wouldnt let me go uninformed.

_**Kirigiri: I really doubt that. Junko would not let anyone besides herself know the whole plan. **_

After the meeting everyone disperced and Naegi and I parted ways for a bit. Then Togami walked up to me.

_**Fukawa: My White Knight would never-**_

_**Naegi: We get the point. We all hate this, and it's accuracy is worse than Hagakure's predictions. **_

_**Kirigiri: Last week he predicted that, what was it… something about siblings, a big bang, megaphones, and Dragon Quest. **_

_**Fukawa: We need to k-keep the occult idiot away from the drugs. **_

_**Naegi: Fukawa! **_

_**Fukawa: I-I'm not a-apologizing.**_

He was totally cute, but I already had m eye on Naegi.

_**Kirigiri: We get it. No need to repeat your sick fantasy.**_

_**Fukawa: G-getting jealous, are we?**_

_**Kirigiri: ... No. **_

"Nagiko, I need your help." He said.

_**Naegi: Hate to sound like a broken record, but Togami doesn't ask for help. He tells them to do it.**_

"Im not killing anyone for you, if thats what your asking." I said cooly, putting a hand on my hip.

_**Kirigiri: The way the system worked, cooperation was impossible, since only one person could get away with it.**_

_**Fukawa: Yeah, and is-isn't that jumping to conclusions… you can't just propose murder so casually. **_

_**Naegi: … Says the serial killer. **_

"No! Its nothing like that! I need you to help me with this girl I like." He said.

_**Fukawa: That's it. I'm leaving. **_

_**Naegi: No, don't go! You're the only one who hates this more than me!**_

_***The click-clack of footsteps as Fukawa runs out***_

_**Kirigiri: I'm surprised she lasted this long. **_

"Who?" I asked.

"Im sure you would be friends with her. She's quiet, and smart and really pretty." He said.

_**Naegi: We didn't make friends that quickly.**_

_**Kirigiri: Well, Asahina and Ogami warmed up to each other pretty quick. **_

_**Naegi: Yeah, but when did we become friends?**_

_**Kirigiri: Um… I'm not quite sure… later on, though… **_

"Is it Kirigiri-chan?" I asked.

"Yeah. I really need help talking to her. You can help right?" He looked at me pleedingly.

_**Naegi: This is so unlike Togami, I almost want to laugh.**_

_***Achoo!***_

_**Naegi: Bless you, Kirigiri.**_

_**Kirigiri: That wasn't me… **_

_**Genocider: Guess who's back! Hahahahaha! Ah, it feels good to get out again! So, 'sup Naegs, Riri?**_

_**Kirigiri: Riri? **_

_**Naegi: Well, someone's insulting what happened at the school.**_

_**Genocider: Meh.**_

_**Naegi: … and suggests that Kirigiri and Togami should be a couple.**_

_**Genocider: I'LL SKIN THEM ALIVE! WHERE IS THE LITTLE BASTARD?!**_

_**Kirigiri: We're trying to figure that out. That's why we're reading this, to look for clues.**_

_**Naegi: But we haven't found anything helpful.**_

_**Genocider: You blind?**_

_**Naegi: What?**_

_**Kirigiri: It's true, this thing is full of clues, nothing concrete mind you, but enough to get a lead.**_

_**Naegi: How?**_

_**Kirigiri: What's the fun in telling you?**_

"Well, OK." I said, "Im really good at talking with people so this shouldnt be a problem."

_**Naegi: That's a lie, you've managed to piss everyone off by just opening your mouth.**_

AN; SOOOOOOOOOO HOW WUZ ITTT? WATASHI TRIEDDD RLYY HARD SO IF U FLAM UR A BITCHY BOOO BAKA IMO YARY/NE-CHAN KI SAMA!

_**Genocider: I wasn't here for most of it, but my other side's furious, so it must have been really bad.**_

_**Naegi: It is. It truly is. **_

*'**"***"**'*

Satisfied that it was over, Kirigiri and Genocider walked out of the room, anxious to leave that event behind them. Naegi however, just stood, looking at it, wondering how on earth there was a clue in that nonsense.

He gave up after less than 5 minutes.

(AN: I just want to give a quick thank you to everyone whose read this! You guys are the best fans a person can ask for. I have enough bad fanfiction for a long time, but if you guys have any other recommendations or creations you want me to spork, let me hear it! Just two things: DR1 only and they have to be terrible.)


	4. Chapter 4: Unfortunate Implications

Chapter 4: Unfortunate Implications

_Future Foundation_

Togami stormed off with the file, looking for his incompetent classmates. At least he was rid of Fukawa. He was in such a rush just to finish the damned thing that he almost didn't hear the secretary's last piece of information. "By the way sir, that contains the first two chapters, since the first one is so short."

He heard their voices coming in from the end of the hallway, and when he got closer to the door he heard, "Don't do it 'Hina." "Come on, a little more…" "It's gonna break, dude!" "Don't be silly!", and other noises of effort. Togami opened the door, having the worst expectations.

Asahina quickly cried out, "This isn't what it looks like!"

"I have no idea what this looks like," was all Togami could say.

Hagakure was quick to explain, in his rambling fashion. "So, 'Toges, 'Hina and I had a bet about how many pencils could fit into my hair, and then Yu from the 4th division showed up with his buddies and that one guy from the 3rd division, so I told some fortunes with a tarot deck, but then they got into an argument, so…"

"That still doesn't explain why there's a dozen broken eggs and three baby chicks on top of a _Go_ board." Togami said scathingly, his cold eyes scanning the room, "And why Asahina is on top of the pool table in her bathing suit, juggling meat skewers." Togami tsked loudly. "We have work to do. Come on, you imbeciles."

The three walked awkwardly towards Togami's office. "So," Asahina said, "Do you want an explanation?"

"No."

"Fine. Noodle Incident it is." Hagakure said, sitting down in Togami's seat, much to his annoyance.

"Let's just start."

*'**"***"**'*

AN: Konichiwa! Watashi am writing a fanfic for my super kawaii OCs, but they're in the first Dangan Ronpa. So sugoi, nee~

_**Togami: Nonsense. Pure nonsense. Even more nonsensical than that scene I just saw.**_

_**Asahina: Hey! I thought you said we were just going to forget about that!**_

_**Togami: I want to forget that, but it is permanently scarred in the memory of Byakuya Togami.**_

_**Hagakure: Dude, did you just refer to yourself in third-person?**_

_**Togami: What of it?**_

Moshi moshi! I'm Kokoro Komaeda,

_**Asahina: Why does that name sound familiar?**_

_**Togami: I would hope you are not acquainted with this person. But the last name… Komaeda…**_

_**Hagakure: Wasn't that the name of an upper-classman?**_

_**Togami: As much as I hate to admit it, you may be right…**_

_**Asahina: Wasn't she the red-head photographer?**_

_**Togami: No, that was Koizumi. How on earth do you mistake those two names?**_

_**Asahina: They both start with 'Ko'.**_

_**Togami: *sigh* I don't want to deal with this today. But I think he was that sickly-looking one.**_

the SHSL... well... stripper.

_**All three: … **_

_**Togami: Please tell me I misread that.**_

_**Hagakure: It's there, true as truth.**_

_**Asahina: Oh my… she can't be serious.**_

_**Togami: The headmaster could not possibly have approved of this.**_

_**Asahina: Kirigiri's dad wouldn't even consider that a talent, right? Right? Right?**_

But I'm not really THAT slutty.

_**Togami: Liar. Not to mention that can't possibly be legal.**_

_**Hagakure: Considering that Fukawa was at school, dude, I don't think the school cares about that.**_

In all honesty, I'm kinda shy about my talent.

_**Togami: More lies. I can't believe I'm expected to read this garbage when there isn't a single true statement.**_

But I know there's other girls with crazier talents, so I can't feel too bad…

_**Asahina: Sorry, girl, but you win the 'weirdest talent' contest.**_

_**Togami: Why not the palm tree over there, after all, he's only right 20% of the time.**_

_**Hagakure: Hey! I'm 100% accurate, 30% of the time!**_

_**Togami: Prove it.**_

_**Hagakure: It's not like a switch, I have to wait for when the spirits want to tell me something.**_

_**Togami: They should call you the Super High School Level Con Man, convincing people with that occult trash. But wait, you're a failure at that too. Seems like they're just giving away titles nowadays. **_

Anyway, today I start school at Hope's Peak Academy. It's a super elite school for the most sugoi students in each field. I stand in front of the large doors, my kokoro pounding in my chest. I take a deep breath, and open the door.

Suddenly, I feel drowsy, and almost drugged. I collapse on the floor, and everything goes dark.

I wake up in a classroom, and notice that the windows are covered. "Why...?" There's also a surveillance camera in the corner of the room. On the chalkboard, there's a note, telling me to go to the gym at 8.

_**Asahina: This bit's boring, and reminds me a lot of the other one we read. **_

_**Togami: I'd have to say the same. Not to mention we were supposed to meet in the entrance hall, not the gym.**_

I look to the clock, to see that it's 8:15. 'Oh, shit...'

I run down to the gym, and see that everyone is already there.

_**Togami: They shouldn't be there, they would be at the entrance hall.**_

_**Hagakure: You already said that, dude.**_

A boy with black hair and blood red eyes starts to yell at me. "You're 15 minutes late to the assembly! That is unacceptable!"

_**Asahina: That sounds exactly like Ishimaru.**_

"Uh... Sorry?" I replied.

"Upupupu!"

_Who said that?_

_**Togami: It ends just like that? How silly, trying to build suspense.**_

_**Asahina: What's so silly about it?**_

_**Togami: Anyone who knows anything about The Killing School Incident would know about Monokuma and his atrocious laugh. In fact, you would have to be living under a rock not to know about Monokuma. At least we're done.**_

_**Hagakure: Uh, 'Toges, there's another part. And a picture.**_

_***Again, this story is on DeviantArt. Look it up for yourselves.***_

_**Togami: I didn't know heterochromia was so widespread. **_

_**Asahina: Is that the right term for when eyes are two different colors?**_

_**Hagakure: And look at all those highlights, that must be expensive.**_

_**Togami: What about your own hair?**_

_**Hagakure: All natural. **_

_**Asahina: Bull. **_

_**Hagakure: It is!**_

_**Togami: He uses a lot of L'Oreal, at least, according to what's in his locker.**_

_**Hagakure: Hey, why're you looking at my stuff, dude? **_

A black and white bear popped out of the podium, and waved its arms in the air. "My name is Monokuma! I'm your headmaster!"

Murmurs erupted throughout the gymnasium.

"Quiet down! Now, I'm here to announce that you're all trapped here! And the only way to get out is to kill someone!"

_**Togami: That's rather blunt. **_

"Wh...What the hell?!" A girl with black pigtails (center) yelled.

_**Hagakure: What does she mean by center?**_

_**Asahina: I think she means the picture.**_

_**Togami: Ugly brat. **_

_**Asahina: That's mean!**_

_**Togami: I'm being generous. **_

A girl with short brown hair erupted into tears, while muttering something under her breath.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" A guy with a large pompadour yelled over the crowd. He walked up to the little bear, and grabbed him by the neck. "You stupid stuffed doll..."

A loud beeping blared, and another person with lilac colored hair spoke up. "Throw the bear now!"

_**Asahina: Same scene, it still hurts think about that whole incident…**_

_**Togami: So much needless bloodshed.**_

Mondo threw the bear,and he exploded.

_**Hagakure: Wait, how do you know his name?**_

_**Togami: That's a surprisingly good point, coming from you.**_

_**Hagakure: See? I'm not useless!**_

_**Togami: Don't push it. **_

"Is he dead...?" said Chihiro.

_**Asahina: There it is again. Now that you mentioned it, how does she know?**_

_**Togami: Internet research, like Naegi did?**_

The bear appeared out of the podium again.

"Violence against the headmaster is against the rules!" He yelled. "Anyways, with that, I'll be going! Good luck killing!"

Monokuma disappeared, and we were left alone.

"Let's all try to find an escape." said Togami. "Split into groups, and investigate."

_**Togami: When did I ever say that? **_

_**Asahina: The details are a little fuzzy, but weren't you all lone wolf and enjoy everyone else's misery?**_

_**Togami: I am appalled that was your opinion of me. **_

_**Hagakure: 'Was' might not be the right word, Toges… **_

Everyone agreed to it, and since I didn't really know anyone there, I just stood there.

_**Togami: Celes and Fukawa did that too.**_

_**Asahina: And someone else, right? I can't remember who, though.**_

The girl with black hair from before confronted me, along with a group of others. "Hey, you look lost. Name's Unmei Towa.

_**Hagakure: Unmei? Meaning fate? Weird. But Towa…**_

_**Togami: Towa is the name of a fairly large corporation that has done rather well, despite of the Tragedy. But not as well as the Togamis, of course.**_

The SHSL... Uh..."

"Escort." A girl with long, brown hair finished for her.

_**Asahina: Surely you don't mean it in that way… **_

_**Togami: She probably does mean it that way.**_

_**Hagakure: Huh?**_

"I'm Mirai Kamukura.

_**Hagakure: Mirai, as in future…**_

_**Asahina: That doesn't seem like a legit name.**_

_**Togami: Kamukura… like the school's founder?**_

SHSL Porn Star."

_**All three: … **_

…

…

_**Hagakure: … I know a place that sells Brain Bleach. **_

_**Togami: You would. **_

So my SHSL isn't so bad.

_**Asahina: … Comparatively, yes, but it's still really terrible.**_

"I'm Yume Otonashi.

_**Hagakure: Is it just me or are all these last names have something to do with other students?**_

_**Togami: Then who's Otonashi? **_

_**Hagakure: Um… uh, I'm getting a vision! Mirrors, vanity… Home Alone, eight snakes, excitement, but nobody's looking.**_

_**Asahina: That made no sense.**_

SHSL Whore." Said the red head.

_**Togami: When we finish reading, I want this and all copies of this burned. With extreme prejudice. **_

_**Asahina: But it's on the internet… **_

_**Togami: Then I will find this person, and I will make sure they regret every character they typed.**_

"Nozomi Tsumiki,

_**Asahina: That was the timid nurse, right?**_

_**Togami: So you finally contribute something, but I already knew that information.**_

_**Hagakure: I remember telling her fortune once. Unlucky in love, or something like that. Un-re-quit love?**_

_**Togami: Do you mean unrequited? **_

virgin." said the blonde.

_**Asahina: How is that a talent?**_

_**Togami: True, you can't be better at it than other people. **_

_**Asahina: Unless they mean someone older who's still a virgin, like Hagakure.**_

_**Hagakure: Hey! Just because I'm still a virgin doesn't mean-**_

_**Togami: Well, that's the answer to a question I never asked. **_

"WEll, I'm Kokoro Komaeda, the SHSL Stripper."

"Cool talent!" said Mirai. "Wish that was mine..."

_**Asahina: Cool…? Ick. These girls must have really low standards or self-esteem or something.**_

_**Togami: What about yourself? **_

_**Asahina: Huh?**_

_**Togami: It's really obvious, you don't need to flaunt them in our faces. **_

_**Asahina: Are you insulting the way I dress?**_

_**Togami: Among other things. **_

"Anyways, how old are y'all?" I asked.

"12." They all said in unison.

Them, getting into such things at their age? I shouldn't say anything, because I'm 12 too, but still…

_**All three: …**_

…

…

_**...**_

_**Togami: No. **_

_**Hagakure: There's no way that's legal. **_

_**Asahina: That's wrong on so many levels. **_

_**Togami: So this is what bloodlust feels like. **_

_**Hagakure: Calm down 'Toges. Just chill, dude.**_

_**Togami: I will not 'chill'! This is a monstrosity that insults any remaining dignity that Kibougamine Academy had! There are not enough words to describe how awful and wretched it is. **_

_**Asahina: I think 'piece of shit' works. **_

_**Togami: I will not dirty my mouth with those words on something as worthless as this.**_

Everyone else entered the room, and asked each other if they found anything. We lied about checking the windows, but we knew that we were trapped anyways.

_**Hagakure: That's kind of stupid, you have to at least try.**_

_**Togami: *sigh* See, even he has enough common sense to see what a nimrod the writer is.**_

"So, I guess we should go back to our rooms and rest up for tomorrow, huh?" I proposed.

There was a general agreement with everyone.

I pulled my crew to the side, and asked them, "You guys wanna bring your PJs up to my room, and we could maybe have a sleepover?"

_**Asahina: What? When people are plotting to murder each other?**_

_**Togami: They are just asking to be killed. They're physically weak, being 12, contribute nothing useful, and dimmer than a light bulb smashed by rocks.**_

They looked at one another, and nodded.

"Sounds like fun! Just let me get my pajamas." said Mirai.

"Same here." said Unmei.

I walked up to my room, while everyone else went to theirs. I quick put on my PJs, and waited for them to come.

There was a knock on the door.

_**Hagakure: At least it's over. Don't have to read it again, true as truth. **_

_**Togami: For once, I hope you're right. **_

AN: Sooooo that s where im leaving it off! Its kinda bad spot i know but ehhhhhh... efforttttt...

_**Asahina: That's lazy.**_

anyways i hope you like my other ocs! theyre pretty sugoi too! i wouldve used canon characters, but that would mean id have to change them, and thats what all the mary sue authors do. and IM NOT A MARY SUE AUTHOR!

_**Togami: What is she blabbing about?**_

_**Asahina: Wait, there's a sticky note. "The author is a terrible liar. Also, we tried to trace their computer, but we were blocked. Our best programmers said that either they're constantly on the move, constantly losing and picking up different WiFi signals, or they have an AI scrambling their data. Or both, but it seems to be coming from the same general location as the other writers. Speculation is that it is a group of people on a special network."**_

hope you enjoyed this chappie tho~

_**Togami: I did not enjoy it.**_

_**Asahina: Seconded.**_

_**Hagakure: I agree, dudes. **_

*'**"***"**'*

It took Togami less than five seconds to find a secretary, and tell her to burn the file. He complied, and took it to the incinerator where it met its end. But Togami was not even close to being satisfied. So he went to the testing room for the newest weapon that Future Foundation was developing. A special hacking gun that uses electromagnetic waves to disrupt nearby machinery. For some reason it looked like a megaphone, but no one argued with the tech department on matters like that.

Asahina and Hagakure went on with their daily duties, trying to forget that terrible, terrible story. Hagakure considered getting a drink, but figured that Togami would yell at him, and that drugs would get him kicked out, so the next best option was the thrill of telling Yu from the 4th division that as long as he stayed away from women wearing blue, then his girlfriends wouldn't find out about each other for the low, low price of 500,000 yen. (Or 23 Monocoins)

*'**"***"**'*

_Towa City, Alleyway. 11: 22 a.m._

A small group of girls around high school age huddled around a laptop. This laptop was so high-tech that Tony Stark would be jealous, but the downside was that it weighed a whopping 45-ish pounds. One of the girls was typing with her eyes closed.

"That's your secret technique?" One of the other girls asked.

"This is just my way of making sure every other word is misspelled. Also I have auto-correct on, which makes it even worse." The girl typing replied.

"I get that this spreads despair and all, but what's the point?" Another girl asked.

"The point is to attract the attention of Future Foundation. The plan is that we lure them here, probably send a tip-off or something, then the kids will start the riots, we sneak out before things get too crazy, and then, you know the rest."

"But will this really be enough? This is kind of stupid."

"That's the point."

"Quiet! I'm trying to think!" The girl typing suddenly shouted.

"You think while doing this?"

"Should I make her fall for Naegi, but going out with Kirigiri on the side, or just go for Togami?"

"Why not have her fall for Fujisaki, and then…"

"Nah. That has wwwaaayyy too much drama and excitement. You're new here, right? Originality is bad. Unless it's really terrible. Take ***** for example. Twilight ruined vampires, and making her a vampire is going to remind people of that, especially since she's a Mary Sue and super OP."

"I see…"

"Just stick with us kid, we're going to create so much hope and despair, it'll look like a vanilla-chocolate milkshake."

"Oh, that sounds like a good description for a hair color! Can I take it?"

"Go right ahead. Wait, brunettes are boring! Meh, doesn't matter, I just thought of something. We need a group name. Any ideas?"

They bickered for over an hour on this issue, reaching no conclusion.


	5. Chapter 5: Hot Streak

Chapter 5: Hot Streak

(AN: So, one of you wonderful people recommended this, so we'll be looking at the character profile and all available chapters, which makes this chapter extremely long. I'm 95% sure that this is a troll, but on the off-chance, I'm sorry for sporking you, but the people have spoken.)

Naegi knew exactly what the file on his desk meant. "No, no… You can not be serious." He muttered.

"Hey, Naegi!" Asahina cheerfully cried out from the hallway. "Didya hear? We got a lead on those Ultimate Despair guys!"

Hagakure popped into the conversation too. "Well, just one of them, and who knows if they're still there are not…"

Naegi smiled, glad to hear some good news for once. "Hey, do you guys mind helping me with this?"

"What is it?" Asahina chirped. "Oh." She stopped when she saw the file. "I have… stuff to do."

"Yeah, me too." Hagakure added. They were both pretty bad liars.

"Let's get this done with." Naegi sighed, opening up the file.

*'**"***"**'*

_**Naegi: What's this, a profile?**_

_**Asahina: Do you think this will be the same thing as always?**_

_**Hagakure: You mean a mysterious female student who came out of nowhere and has a thing for Togami? Or Naegi?**_

_**Naegi: I hope not. **_

Name: Ella Goldheart

_**Naegi: That's not a very Japanese name.**_

_**Asahina: We did get foreign students sometimes. **_

_**Hagakure: True as truth. **_

ultimate: otaku

_**Asahina: What, like Yamada?**_

_**Naegi: Slightly different, I think. But how can you be the best otaku? You see stuff on the internet all the time of the insane things people do.**_

_**Asahina: That's the secret, she's actually crazy. **_

(also friend, but thats a secret)

_**Hagakure: Not much of a secret, since you just told us. **_

_**Naegi: That's an even more vague talent than otaku. How do you be the best 'friend'. You can't appease everyone. **_

_**Asahina: True, some people are just pricks. *cough* Togami *cough***_

_**Naegi: He used to be worse. **_

Gender; female

_**Hagakure: See, I called it! Female. Let's see if I'm right about the Togami or Naegi thing.**_

_**Asahina: I think from her name it's kind of obvious that she's a she. **_

Nationality: America

_**Naegi: Well, she is foreign. But I thought that they don't get everything that gets produced over here. **_

_**Asahina: Maybe she learned Japanese and got things specially shipped. That would be devotion. **_

nAge; 15

_**Hagakure: High school age. **_

_**Naegi: You weren't that age in high school. **_

_**Hagakure: Why'd you bring that up, dude? **_

birthday: 23 may

Height: 5 feet 8 inchs

_**Naegi: … **_

_**Asahina: … **_

_**Hagakure: Why are you guys so down? Just because she's a little taller than you… I'm sure that you'll get a growth spurt soon, Naegi. **_

_**Naegi: Doubtful. **_

Weight; 85 pounds

_**Naegi: You've got that wrong! That's bullshit!**_

_**Asahina: Yeah, what he said! **_

_**Naegi: I'm 5' 3" and a 114 pounds! There is no way she can be 85 pounds unless she's anorexic. Back me up, Asahina! We're the same height.**_

_**Asahina: You want me to say my weight? No way, but you are right about her weight being impossible for her height. **_

Hair color :black with dark indigo tips

Eye color: gold (but she weres red contact lenses

_**Hagakure: Why? That seems kind of pointless. **_

_**Asahina: Like your hair. **_

_**Hagakure: Hey, my hair is full of points!**_

_**Asahina: If anyone's hair has a point, it would be Naegi's.**_

Hair style: like sayaka miazonos but longer (its down to the bottom of her back)

_**Naegi: *involuntary eye twitch* **_

_**Hagakure: Chill dude, she's hasn't said anything negative about her yet. **_

Clothes outfit 1: Ella wears denim skin tight jeans, A black t shirt with the Skyrim symbol on it, unzipped indigo hoodie (she puts the hood up when she is

sad or thinking) with neko ears on top, black leather boots, silver earings

Clothes outfit 2 Ella wears denim shorts, a black sleevless skyrim t shirt that exposes her belly button and purple pumps. (she waers this when she is on a date or whatever )

_**Asahina: I didn't read any of that, did you?**_

_**Hagakure: No, not really. **_

_**Naegi: It's usually not relevant. **_

Persoality: Ella is a popular girl who makes friends with most people. However shealso has a dark side which she uses for people she doesn't like like perverts and nerds (poor yamada XDD).

_**Hagakure: People love to hate Yamada, don't they?**_

_**Asahina: And you, too. **_

_**Hagakure: It's better than being their love interest. Sorry, Naegi, dude.**_

She is usually happy but when people close to her get hurt shegets sad then angry and lashs out.

_**Asahina: That's not very healthy behavior. I should know.**_

_**Naegi: It's alright, Asahina. Those were… rough times. We understand.**_

_**Asahina: Just thinking about it makes me so angry. **_

She is useful during the investgations and class trials, and finds it very easy to find the culprit.

_**Naegi: Easy? EASY?! There's a reason there were trials! We had to work together to figure out-**_

_**Asahina: Actually, it was mostly you and Kirigiri. **_

_**Naegi: I suppose… but still-**_

_**Asahina: No, I get it. We're not all detectives. Specially not Hagakure.**_

_**Hagakure: Hey! **_

Shes also a good matchmaker .

_**Hagakure: What does that have to do with anything? **_

She also has a dark secret….

_**Naegi: Everyone has one of those. That's nothing special. Monokuma explicitly exploited that fact. **_

_**Asahina: Your secret wasn't that bad, right?**_

_**Naegi: I don't want to talk about that. **_

_**Asahina: Come on, let's all share. You first, Hagakure. **_

_**Hagakure: Do I have to? Can't we just keep our secrets secret?**_

Backsotry : ella was born in LA and she lived in California her hole life until she moved to japan to go to hopes Peak.

_**Hagakure: I have a prediction! This backstory will be unnecessarily tragic!**_

_**Naegi: Don't need a crystal ball for that one. **_

She was bullied in kindergartn and elementary school and didn't make much friends. She had 1 friend who wasr eally close to her called Louise and a boyfriend called luke but on ellas 8th birthday

_**Asahina: Wait, a boyfriend at 8 years old? **_

_**Hagakure: Kids these days, am I right?**_

_**Naegi: You're not that old, Hagakure.**_

louise was going to her house and got hit bya truck and died. Ella was so sad for months that she even thought about killing herself Only luke kept her going.

_**Naegi: Are we still sure she's eight? **_

_**Asahina: Wait. This is unnecessarily tragic. **_

_**Hagakure: I was right! I am on a roll!**_

One day ella decided to get revenge so she went to the truck drivers house and set it on fire but she didn't get cought.

_**Asahina: Did she kill the driver? **_

_**Naegi: I hope not. It sounded like it was an accident. But still, that's pretty violent. **_

When luke found out he was shocked so he dumped ella and was going to tell the cops.

_**Hagakure: That's a pretty normal reaction. **_

_**Naegi: Maybe he realized that they were both eight, and that it wouldn't work out. Also she committed a serious crime. **_

Ella had to shove him of a bridge to stophim which made him have to be ina wheelchair and he couldn't talk no more.

_**Asahina: Holy shit. **_

_**Naegi: I agree. Poor guy. **_

_**Hagakure: Couldn't he have told the cops some other way?**_

_**Naegi: Hard to say. Depends on what exactly happened to him. There isn't a lot of detail. **_

Everyone in her middle school thought it was her but they didn't have any evidense so they just stayed away form was So sad but she knew she had to do it.

_**Asahina: Had to? You could've confessed to the cops. Or not set the guy's house on fire in the first place. **_

_**Naegi: Yeah, but I don't think she's the sanest or the smartest. **_

When she went to high school she went to one on the other side of lA so that she might be able to make new friends. She changed her personalty aswell so shed fit in better. On her first day she made prety much everyone be her friend

_**Hagakure: I don't think that's how it works.**_

_**Naegi: I agree, and the way she said it makes it sound more like mind control. **_

_**Hagakure: Like she has a supernatural power, that's kind of stupid. **_

and she was only their for a few days before Hopes peak Acadmy sent her a invite.

_**Asahina: A few days? I don't think that's how it works. **_

_**Naegi: And don't American schools start after Japanese schools do?**_

_**Hagakure: Think so, dude. **_

She accepted and moved to japan.

_**Naegi: Still doesn't really explain the otaku talent. **_

Likes; watching anime (especially hetalia, AoT, bleach, Naruto, One piece ,kill la kill, dragon Ball, rail wars, Tokyo ghoul)

_**Asahina: Do you guys watch any of those? **_

_**Naegi: Are you kidding? Most of these shows are staples. Haven't you seen any of them?**_

_**Asahina: I was always too busy. Not to mention I hate staying all cooped up inside. **_

_**Hagakure: Man, I haven't watched any Dragon Ball in ages.**_

_**Naegi: Those were the days. You ever go out into your backyard and-**_

_**Hagakure: Course I did! KA-ME**_

_**Naegi: HA-ME**_

_**Hagakure &amp; Naegi: HA! **_

_**Asahina: You guys are dorks. **_

cuddling, roses strawberrys, hot chocolate, choclate in general tbh, harry potter,

_**Asahina: Harry Potter… that's those wizard movies, right?**_

_**Naegi: I just felt a shiver down my spine. **_

_**Hagakure: You too, dude? Wait, the spirits are telling me something… A small room, a laptop, a dictionary that randomly appears, lots of black and cursing, typos, rage beyond the grave… Souls screaming in pain, lots of witty comments… wait, a message… Oh, I am not repeating that. **_

yaoi (!)

_**Naegi: That's not a good sign.**_

_**Hagakure: True as truth. **_

,playing Skyrim (of course)

Dislikes: people dissing anime, reveeling her secrets, Pepsi, kiwis talking about her past,

_**Asahina: Kiwis? Isn't that a fruit? **_

_**Naegi: Or a bird? **_

creeps, call of duty ,call of duty fanboys,

_**Hagakure: Isn't that a video game? **_

_**Naegi: Yeah, one of those shooter ones. **_

lord of the Rings,

_**Asahina: Those rrreeeaaalllyyy long movies, right?**_

_**Hagakure: Bingo. **_

having photos taken of her,yuri, physics, having towrite poetry

Favourite colors: black and indigo

_**Asahina: Boring! **_

_**Naegi: Now onto the main event. Yay. **_

(AN: I know this is unusual, but I want to put in my two cents in as well, since there are some topics I want to cover that the characters wouldn't. First off, her backstory makes her sound like a sociopath/psychopath, and it doesn't mention how she got into anime, which I would think is important. Also, if she is the "Ultimate" otaku, wouldn't she know about more obscure series and be a fan of those? Not that there's anything wrong with popular stuff, it's popular for a reason. Maybe even some manga that never got adapted. *cough* +Anima *cough* But my major complaint is that she dislikes Lord of the Rings. On does not simply dislike Lord of the Rings. Being a fan of it, I am more offended than the average person. Also, she disses poetry. Poetry is not everyone's cup of tea, but we suck it up and drink it anyway! Sorry for the interruption, back to your irregularly scheduled programming.)

An: so here it is everyone! The first chapter of love and Despair! Hope you enjoy! Remember to follow, favorite and review!

_**Naegi: I bet we won't enjoy it. **_

_**Hagakure: Amen.**_

Hello everyone. My name is Ella Goldheart and Im a student at Hopes Peak Academy! I know its amazing! I was accepted under the title of Ultimate Otaku. But I have a secret .On the day before I started studying, the headmaster made me go to his office to tell me something. When I gotin he told me that I was a very special student. I thought he was just being nice butthen he told me that I was the VERY FIRST person in the history of hopes Peak to have not 1 but 2 talents!

_**Naegi: Technically not true, if you count Junko's "Despair" talent. Though that's more of a nickname. Still calling bullshit. **_

My other talent Is the ultimate Friend because I am really good at making friends. But, theh eadmaster told me not to tell anyone else incase they got jealos and tried to hurt or even kill me!

_**Asahina: Thought the whole point of the school was to show off talents. **_

I told him I wouldn't then I went back to were I was staying until the semester began.

On the 1st day of school (which was the next day) I went up to the door of hopes pEak. But, suddenly I passed out! When I woke up I was in a classroom. "Hm weird" I thought to myself. On the desk I saw a piece of paper whichsaid meet at the gym at 8 o clock. I looked at the clock. It was 7.59! I ran out of the classroom and to the gym door. I stopped for a quick breath then I opened the door and went in.

_**Hagakure: This is just like all the other ones. **_

_**Naegi: Seriously, is it that hard to think of an original location to wake up in? Not to mention why does everyone say the gym? It told us to meet in the entrance hall, then to go into the gym after introductions. **_

_**Asahina: It's just a little detail. But it's still annoying.**_

Inside was 16 other people. They all stoppedt alking and looked at me when I entered. Then a boy with black hair and big eyebrows and a white suit yelled at me

_**Hagakure: That's Ishimaru. **_

"You are late! Being late is not welcome in a schoolenvironment!"

_**Naegi: I don't think he's ever said anything like that. **_

_**Asahina: But it does sound like something he would say. **_

"Shut up Ishimaru" another boy said. He was tall and had hair like a corn on the cob. "Im Mondo Oowada" he said. "Ultimate biker. That was Ishimaru. Hes the ultimate prefect who are you? "Im Ella Goldheart" I said back. "Im the ultimate otaku."

_**Naegi &amp; Asahina: Boring! **_

_**Hagakure: Isn't there supposed to be a " at the end of Oowada's question?**_

_**Naegi: True, and if you want to get super technical, you're supposed to make another paragraph when someone new is talking. **_

"Did someone say otaku? a fat guy with glasses said. He shoved Mondo away and I already didn't like him.

_**Asahina: Way to make assumptions! It's unfair to judge someone for their appearance, even if some assumptions turn out to be right. So what if Yamada was a bit of a pervert? He knew how to draw and how to draw in an audience! He put what he loved about the work into his doujinshi! What he loved might have been perverted, but he at least he knew that! Not like this pretender who acts high and mighty despite not proving what makes her better than anyone else! **_

_**Naegi: Well done. I could not have said that any better. **_

"My name is Yamada hifumi and Im the ultimate fanfic writer!" I looked at him in disgust before introducing myself. "Im Ella otaku" I walked away, ignoring yamadas hand which he had stretched out for me to shake.

_**Asahina: Rude. **_

_**Hagakure: Super rude. **_

I didnt want to think were that hand had been.

_**Naegi: Really? **_

_**Hagakure: She is such a girl. **_

_**Asahina: I would imagine that A) he would wash his hands afterwards, and B) Between waking up at Hope's Peak and meeting you, when would he find the time? **_

_**Naegi: You are on top of things today. **_

_**Asahina: Two boxes of donuts.**_

_**Hagakure: That explains it. **_

Next I met a blue haired girl called sayaka maizono. She seemed like a bit of a weeboo but I didn't really care because I wanted to meet everyone else .

_**Asahina &amp; Hagakure: … **_

_**Naegi: Maizono, like all of us, is Japanese. I fail to see how she is a weeaboo. **_

_**Asahina: You took that a lot better than I thought you would. **_

_**Naegi: Well, it seems to be a trend with these. It's a waste of energy. **_

As I was walking away from sayaka I met a short boy called Naegi Makto. He told me he was ultimate good luck which I thought was a bit lame

_**Asahina: She didn't even spell your name right. **_

_**Hagakure: Naegs isn't going to be the only one… **_

but before I could introduce myself he had gone to talk to Sayaka who was the ultimate idol btw.

_**Naegi: I wouldn't be that rude! I let all you guys introduce yourselves, right?**_

_**Asahina: That is true. **_

After that I saw a g irl who looked nice but a bit stupid. She was called Asahina and she was the ultimate swimmer.

_**Asahina: A bit stupid? I may not be the sweetest donut in the box, but I'm not a hypocrite like you, whoever you are! **_

Next to her was ahuge guy called Sakura? It turns out Sakura was a girl even thought she looked like a guy. She was the ultimate fighter though so the muscles made sense.

_**Naegi: Yeah, I almost made that mistake. **_

_**Hagakure: Ditto, dude. **_

Then I met a guy called hagakuray who looked WAY to old to be at ahigh school. Apparently he was a fortune teller but he wasn't very good.

_**Hagakure: Hey! I'm 100% accurate, 30% of the time!**_

I quickly left him before his dorkness began to affect me.

_**Asahina: I wouldn't call him a dork…**_

_**Hagakure: Thanks, 'Hina.**_

_**Asahina: You're a wimp.**_

_**Hagakure: Dude!**_

After that I saw a girl called Junko Enoshima. Id seen her in magazines but she looked diffrent. When I asked her about it she said that the magazines were photo shopped. She was the ultimate model.

_***Extremely awkward silence***_

Near her was a gothic girl called celestia Ludenburg. I didn't think that was her real name but I found out she was the ultimate gambler. Next I met a cute girl (not cute as in hot) called Chihiro Fujsaki

_**Naegi: Um, I think cute and hot are very different things. **_

_**Asahina: Would you like to give us an example, eh, Naegi?**_

_**Naegi: Well, um, ah… well, I thought Fujisaki was cute at first, and I think … *indistinct mumbling***_

_**Asahina: What was that last bit? Couldn't quite catch that. **_

_**Hagakure: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?**_

_**Asahina: ~Naegi has a crush~ **_

_**Naegi: You can't prove anything. **_

_**Asahina: I think it's obvious, the writing's all over the walls. **_

who was the ulimate programer. I thought there was something weir about her but I didn't quiet know what.

_**Hagakure: That's pretty smart of her. I never suspected a thing.**_

_**Naegi: It's called cheating. Nobody would have guessed. **_

Anyway, next I met a girl called Kirigiri who was really cold towards me, and refused to say her ultimate.

_**Asahina: That was my first impression too. **_

So I left her alone and went to see another guy called Leon kuwata who was the ultimate baseballer but he told me he liked music better.

_**Naegi: Also fairly accurate.**_

When I left him, he blew me a kiss which made me blush.

_**Naegi: I don't know if I have an opinion on that.**_

_**Hagakure: Well, you don't have to think about it too hard. **_

_**Asahina: Is that your life philosophy? **_

_**Hagakure: Hey!**_

Next I met a girl called Toco Fukawa who smelled really bad and had long raven hair.

_**Asahina: She doesn't smell that bad! Besides, she's a lot better now.**_

_**Hagakure: Wouldn't call her hair 'raven'.**_

_**Naegi: Yeah, it's a little more purplish. **_

She was staring at a tall blond guy with glasses who was REALLY hot.

_**Asahina: *exaggerated retching noises***_

_**Hagakure: Good thing Fukawa's not reading this.**_

"Get out of the way" she said to me meanly because I was standing between her and the blond guy. "Fine" I replied. I knew she didn't like me and I didnt like her, so I decided to get revenge for her being mean.

_**Naegi: Revenge? For that? That's just… petty. **_

_**Hagakure: Not to mention Fukawa doesn't like anyone. **_

I went up to the blond guy. "Hey there" I said sexily. Im Ella Goldheart". "My name is Byakuya Togami" he said. "Please go away"

_**Asahina: That sounds like Togami. Except he wouldn't say please. **_

but before I could respond ,a weird laugh went through out the gym.

Upupupupupupu!

_**Naegi: Is that the end?**_

_**Hagakure: That's a nope. **_

_**Asahina: Looks like one more chapter.**_

_**Naegi: This thing is really annoying to read, everything's into big clunky paragraphs, no spacing for when people are talking. **_

_**Hagakure: You ready for more dudes?**_

_**Naegi: *sigh* Might as well. **_

We looked around and saw a strange teddy bear standing on a podum. It was strange becuase it was half black and half whit! What the hell" I thought to myself. The bear was laughing the creepy laugh that w'ed heard just momets ago. "Upuppu!" it said. "I am youre headmaster monokuma! We all gasped.

_**Asahina: Blah, blah, blah. Bad grammar, blah.**_

_**Naegi: Excellent summary.**_

He wasn't the headmaster I rememberd from just before I started. The headmaster I knew was a man who was about 30 but still kinda cute.

_**Hagakure: Good thing Kirigiri didn't read that. **_

Defenitly not this …bear. "who the hell are you? Mondo yelled. "Your just a bear" "No non o Im monokuma the bear replied. He jamp down of the podum and walked down the middleof the group stopping when he came to mondo. Mondo neeled down and monokuma walked up to him and pushed his hair. "lol your hairs like a corn on the cob he said laughing. "That's it you little bastard!" mondo yelled as he punched Monokuma . monokuma went flying but suddnly his eye started to flash! Then he exploded! All that was left was a cloud of smoke but thn we heard it.

Upuppuupuupupupupupuuppupu!"

We turned round to see ANOTHER monokuma on the podum. "acts of violence against the headmaster will be punished he yelled. He was real mad, but nobody seemd to care that much. "anyway" monokuma said. I have a important thing to tell you all! Your all trapped in this school!when he said this everyone started to talk all at once.

_**Asahina: Boring! Everyone knows this bit. **_

Most of the girls were freaked out, but I wasn't. some of the boys also screamed, like nAegi and hagakuray, but byakuya didn't.

_**Naegi: Hey! I did not scream!**_

_**Hagakure: I didn't either!**_

chihiro started to cry and so did that dork Yamda.

_**Asahina: Everyone's still picking on Yamada.**_

_**Naegi: Why can't these "authors" respect the dead? Or respect grammar?**_

_**Hagakure: Maybe they're idiots?**_

"will everybody SHUT UP!11! Monokkuma yelled so everyone did but you could still here chihiro and yamada crying. There is a way to escape monokuma said but only if you kill somebody!" killing is not welcome in a school enviromint" yelled Ishimaru but noone was listening to him.

_**Naegi: Didn't Ishimaru say something similar earlier in this thing?**_

_**Asahina: Yeah, you're right. **_

Toco fainted because shes a wimp but the rest of us kept on listeningto Monokkuma.

_**Hagakure: Pretty sure she didn't faint, dude.**_

_**Naegi: Is the spelling and grammar getting worse? Not that it was fantastic to begin with. **_

"if you kill someone then there will be a class trial monokuma told us. If you bastards can work out who killed someone then only they will be punshed. But if you guess the wrong person you will all be punished and the murderer will get away! Does that sound fair? "Justice is welcome in a school enviromint"! yelled ishimaru but we were still ignoring him.

_**Naegi: Is this repeating line supposed to be funny? Ignoring Ishimaru isn't nice. He was a bit uptight, but well meaning. **_

Suddnly monokuma dissapeard. I didn't really give af though because he was so damn annoying. Instead we decided to split up and searchthe school for clues. I weanted to go with Byakuya but he went away on his own and Toco tried to chase him so instead I went with Leon. On the way around we chatted and I got to know him.

_**Hagakure: Blah, blah, can you really know someone that fast?**_

_**Naegi: In my experience, you need to hang out with someone about five times to become really close to them. **_

We were getting on really well but when we went round a corner he made his move! He shoved me into the wall and began to kiss me really hard. At first I didn't like it but after a couple seconds I relaxed and kissed him back. We broke apart after like a minute and we were both gasping but smiling. That was pretty good" I said. "yeah" said leon. "Lets do it again. "okay" so we kissed again and this time it turned into a French kiss.

_**Asahina: *more exaggerated retching noises***_

_**Naegi: Their lives are in danger, they can't trust anyone, so they make out after knowing each other for a day. **_

_**Hagakure: I think they're idiots. **_

Just then a tv went on and monokua was on it! "Everyone its night time go to your rooms and go to sleep!" "night leon I said .he said goodnight back then we went to our rooms. I lay in my bed but I couldn't sleep. I had kissed leon but I also liked Byakuya.

_**Naegi: Right, since your love life is the most important thing.**_

I couldn't reach a concluson so I just went to sleep ready for the next day.

_**Hagakure: We're done?**_

_**Asahina: Looks like it. YES! ALLELUJAH! **_

*'**"***"**'*

Then a secretary walked in. "You've finished that one? That's the entirety from what we could find. Obviously there are other ones out there."

The joy of completion was killed and three begrudgingly went back to work.


	6. Chapter 6: Premonition?

(AN: Yeah, sorry for the delay, but once DR3 started I got busy, and I wanted to wait it out. I just want to clarify, in the DR timeline, this was always meant to be in between the first game and Another Episode. I mean, it's silly but sticking to canon is important to me.)

"Hagakure, you're being ridiculous. Let go of me." The lavender-haired detective calmly told her former classmate.

"No way dude! I had a vision and-" He started to explain himself but was quickly cut-off by Togami, who was walking towards them.

"Stop wasting her time. Kirigiri, we have another one of those atrocious files. Would you like to join me?" She nodded, and walked off with Togami.

"Ghoul with a sword!" Hagakure shouted, completely ignored, and tried to follow them, but was blocked by Fukawa. "Kawa, come on, I need to warn them!"

"No." Fukawa said. "Don't waste my white knight's time with your fortune telling nonsense." She then proceeded to stalk, I mean, walk behind Togami and Kirigiri, until they found a break room with comfy couches.

Togami was the first to notice Fukawa, and he curled his lip in distaste. "Fine, stay and read this garbage, that should be enough punishment for you."

*'**"***"**'*

I DON'T EVEN KNOW OKAY

IF YOU CAN MAKE ANY SENSE OF THIS YOU ARE AMAZING

THIS WILL BE THE LAST INTELLIGIBLE SENTENCE YOU SEE

_**Togami: That's… unusual. **_

_**Kirigiri: It makes it sound like it was done against the author's will…**_

_**Fukawa: If the author had any self respect, they would saw off their limbs before writing anything as terrible as before. **_

Konichiwa! Watashi Mikako Sanada! I'm so kawaii desu!

_**Fukawa: The cute type, huh? How unpleasant, pretending to be nice, you're probably just a bitch, aren't you?**_

_**Togami: Like Ms. 8th Division? **_

_**Kirigiri: Don't be rude, besides, she outranks you. **_

Today is my first day hope's peak academy! I'm the super duper high school level Kawai Desu Anime Girl Cosplayer!

_**Kirigiri: Cosplayer? Also, I have the feeling that kawaii and desu will appear a lot in this.**_

_**Togami: That is going to be very annoying. **_

I have hot pink hair that is 10 feet long! It has purple streaks!

_**Fukawa: Her hair is almost twice as tall as she is. That much hair is disgusting. **_

_**Togami: What about your own hair?**_

_**Fukawa: My hair is only… about… 4 feet? And I keep it tied up. **_

_**Togami: It's still disgusting, like the rest of you.**_

My eyes are rainbow.

_**Kirigiri: Pretty sure that is genetically impossible. **_

_**Togami: That seems to be the least of their problems. **_

I never wear the same outfit because I'm always in cosplay desu.

_**Kirigiri: That would get expensive fast. Only Togami would be able to afford it.**_

_**Togami: But I don't, because that's a waste of resources. **_

Today I'm dressed as Miku Hatsune! It's so kawaii! Everyone says I'm ugly but there bakas! I'm sugoi!

_**Fukawa: E-ego much? Besides, she is ugly, that fake. **_

I stood in front of the school, my super sparkly eyes sparkling more because I'm kawaii desu!

Let's go to class!

I stepped in side and then I got all dizzy and swirly. This is so baka!

I woke up on a desk desu.

_**Togami: I can literally feel my brain cells dying. **_

_**Kirigiri: Technically, they aren't dying. They're just being used to comprehend this information, and store it in the dark recesses of your memory where they will, hopefully, never see the light of day. **_

"This is so not sugoi! Or Kawaii! Baka! Baka!" I yelled. I then saw a note on the floor. I read it and gasped. It's so late! I screamed.

"Being late is almost as bad as being a Neko getting chased by a Kuma and an Inu! So not Sugoi to be late! If I had an Onee-chan, he'd be so mad! Well, Sugoi Monogatari Onee-Chan!" I yell.

_**Fukawa: Onee-chan? Does someone have a brother complex? And all of this talking to herself, is she crazy? **_

_**Kirigiri: That is the most logical conclusion right now. **_

I try my hardest to run. But then I realize that I'm not dressed as Miku anymore! Baka! This is so not Sugoi! I'm dressed as Sailor Mars!

_**Togami: No one cares what you are wearing. **_

_**Kirigiri: It's bad enough these works are ruining the Killing School Life, and now they seem determined to destroy my childhood. **_

_**Fukawa: What was that?**_

_**Kirigiri: Nothing. **_

What the Shi? I pull my hair and run around in circles screaming. Then I stop and go to the entrance hall desu.

"YOU! YOU'RE LATE!"

"Baka! I'm so sorry, fellow student-kun! Me being late is so not Sugoi! I don't look Kawaii at all! Desu." I wailed and sat on the floor.

_**Fukawa: So childish and immature. She's whiny, attention-seeking and annoying. **_

_**Kirigiri: It really is grating. **_

And then I saw someone who was totally Kawaii.

He had blonde hair and glasses and a nice suit and my eyes turned to hearts and stars.

_**Fukawa: W-why do they keep going after my white knight? I mean, he is perfect, b-but he's mine! **_

_**Togami: I am not yours, or anyone's else's for that matter, so get your grubby hands off of me! Have you taken a bath at all? **_

"Kawaii Desu…So Sugoi…Yatta…I found my one true Hasubando!" I scream and stand up.

'Would you introduce yourself?" Asked a really fat guy but I didn't care.

_**Kirigiri: Ignoring Yamada also seems to be a trend. **_

"Mikako Sanada…" I say in a super Kawaii voice as I stand up in front of my new Hasubando.

"What can I call you hasubando-senpai-sensei-sama?" I asked him.

_**Fukawa: All those honorifics… absolutely pointless. You don't just slap those on to make it clear that someone is special to you. I-it has to be personal, and fitting, otherwise you're just making up a relationship that doesn't exist.**_

_**Togami: Like the relationship between us?**_

_**Fukawa: B-but that's real love! Not like the aberrant admiration this creature is retching onto you. **_

_**Kirigiri: Retching? Is that the word you want to use? **_

_**Fukawa: Y-yes, since it's vile garbage that was regurgitated by the author. **_

_**Togami: That is not a mental image I want. **_

That was a lot of fun to write, but it also burned my eyes, agh!

Poor Byakuya, I dislike him, but he doesn't deserve being loved by a Mary-Sue.

_**Togami: I don't understand… are they bipolar or something?**_

_**Kirigiri: It could be DID, but they seem too aware of their actions… they seemed to have been forced to write this. This suggests the theory that all of these were created by the same group of people, considering their similar themes…**_

_**Togami: Don't waste speculation on this. There's still more to get through. **_

(Ch2)

I know, I know, why would i keep doing this to myself.

But then I realized that it'd be more Sugoi to introduce myself to everyone-san so that they can see how Kawaii Desu I am.

_**Fukawa: They'd probably revile you m-more than me, which is saying a lot. **_

The first person was Sayaka Maizono-San and she was a baka and so not sugoi because that blue hair was totally fake but I was born with my Kawaii pink hair and streaks.

_**Kirigiri: Naegi would throw a fit if he saw this. **_

_**Togami: I still don't understand how he forgave her for what she did to him. **_

_**Kirigiri: It's because he's not an ass, like you. Need I remind you of what you did in the 2nd case? **_

_**Togami: I will not apologize for fun.**_

Taka-Kun was a rule abiding baka and i didn't like him he was so not sugoi.

_**Fukawa: H-he was kind of an idiot...**_

Toko-San was a j*** she said that my hair sucked even though it's so kawaii Desu! What a baka!

_**Fukawa: Oh screw you too. Your hair does suck. **_

_**Kirigiri: Did she just censor the word jerk?**_

_**Togami: That's even more pointless than anyone of Hagakure's "predictions". **_

Leon-Kun had fake not kawaii hair and he was so rude!

_**Kirigiri: Incorrect. His hair was genuine, just dyed, or is that what you meant?**_

And the fat guy I forgot his name was a creep. I'll call him creep-kun.

_**Fukawa: He was a creep with poor taste in literature. **_

Hina-chan was pretty kawaii but she was a baka.

_**Togami: Less of an idiot than you. **_

Chihiro-chan was so Kawaii I just wanted to pick her up and hug her forever but then i wouldn't be able to hug my new hasubando.

Kyoko-Sama was so sugoi! She was so mysterious and stuff!

_**Kirigiri: I do not feel comfortable with this.**_

_**Togami: It's not so funny now, is it?**_

Junko-san was boring and a big j*** and such a baka and not sugoi!

_**Fukawa: A-again with the censoring? **_

And Mondo-Kun was an even bigger baka!

Sakura-San was really scary but she was super strong so I'll make sure to always tell her that she's sugoi.

Yasuhiro-kun was THE BIGGEST BAKA EVER

_**Fukawa: His stupidity is only rivaled by you. **_

_**Kirigiri: Yesterday he was screaming about bagels dipped in orange juice. **_

Celeste-Sama was so sugoi! She was really pretty and I loved how tall her pigtails were!

And of course there was my hasubando-senpai-sensei-sama! His name was Byakuya Togami and he had a totes Sugoi voice!

_**Fukawa: My white knight's voice deserves better adjectives than "totes" and "sugoi". Are those the only words you know, you illiterate mistake? **_

We all talked for a while and the the TV turned on and i heard a creepy but kawaii voice say

"Upupupupu!"

HELP ME PLEASE THE WAPANESE IS DROWNING ME

_**Togami: Thank god that's over. **_

_**Kirigiri: For now, at least. **_

(AN: With the new V3 info, this story has become infinitely more funny, as there is a legit SHSL Cosplayer now. And bonus points for looking like if Fukawa and Maizono had a baby, two people this author hates!)


	7. Chapter 7: Expectation

Chapter 7: Expectations

"No."

"Togami, come on, everyone has to do this…" Naegi pleaded

"That one is the worst of the lot. I will not taint my retinas with that. Besides, why do we have to read this? Surely anyone else can do this. It is a waste of my time when I could be doing something productive." Togami retorted.

"You know why… because no one else will do it." Naegi admitted.

"Yeah," Asahina agreed, "It's kind of mean of them. They get to go out and do cool stuff like track down the Remnants."

Togami nodded. "My point exactly."

"Why don't we just finish this? I bet we'll get better assignments soon." Naegi said.

"That reminds me… where's Kirigiri?" Asahina asked. "Haven't seen her all day."

"Not quite sure…" Naegi muttered, "Think it has something to do with… what were they called… Killer Killer? Yeah, I think that's it."

"Another serial killer?" Togami tsked. "If we have to read more of these, I might actually partake in murder one of these days."

"Don't say that!" Asahina protested.

Togami just frowned and opened up the file.

*'**"***"**'*

AN: wow it appears we have some baka haters. Oh well all good stories have bitchy boo bakas obvi. Im too sugoi to let that bring me down. Plus all publicity is sugoi publicity. Inspiration. Also, today Mirai is just gonna be my pic because some1 else needs some spotlite rihgt? I'll post everyone elses pjs later tho.

_**Togami: And not a single damn was given today. **_

_**Asahina: You have a point...**_

I opened the door to see Mirai standing outside of my door. She had on blue pajamas, and held a pillow and blanket. She also had kawaii sheep slippers on. "Uwahhh, you look so kawaii!" I said.

"You too!" She replied.

I looked down at my light pink PJs, adorned with nekos, all wearing mustaches. "Arigato!"

_**Naegi: How can they be so… nonchalant?**_

_**Togami: Because they do not possess two brain cells shared by all… four of them? Five? I care so little, I've forgotten. **_

_**Naegi: It's strange though… no matter how many they are, nothing actually changes, like they only exist for themselves.**_

_**Togami: I think that's the point. **_

"By the way, where's the neko ears?" she asked.

"Oh, it's just a headband. I'm not actually part neko, even though it'd be cool, nya~"

_**Asahina: Honestly, never saw the appeal of that stuff, then again, I'm more of a dog person. **_

_**Naegi: Well, at least she didn't use any cat puns… **_

Then everyone else showed up, each donning a kawaii pair of pajamas. Unmei wore a black t-shirt, with neon pink and green pajama pants. Yume wore a cream and red striped nightgown, with black slippers. Nozomi wore mint green footie PJs with llamas on it.

_**Togami: Again with the clothing descriptions. No one cares. Additionally, I honestly can't tell the difference between all of these brain dead girls. **_

_**Naegi: I thought to be brain dead, you have to have a brain to begin with.**_

_**Togami: Oho, there is hope for you yet. **_

"Alright, let's get this party started!" I grabbed my iPod off of the nightstand and played a bunch of Vocaloid songs. We all sang along and danced for about half an hour.

"Wanna set up beds?" Unmei asked.

"Hai!" we all said in unison except for Unmei.

So we then set up our beds. We had no intention on going to bed right away, though.

_**Naegi: Are these actual high schoolers? **_

_**Asahina: Actually, no, they're supposedly all 12. **_

_**Naegi: 12? That's ridiculously stupid!**_

_**Togami: That's nothing compared to their talents. **_

_**Naegi: Do I want to know?**_

_**Asahina &amp; Togami: NO. **_

A chyme went off. "Ding dong! It is now 10 PM! Nighttime hours have begun! Remember, no wandering around!"

Yume got up and turned off the lights.

We all sat up in bed, and talked for a little while. We found out we all had older siblings, who also had SHSL Titles. I have my onii-chan Nagito, of course.

_**Naegi: Wait a minute… That sounds familiar…**_

_**Togami: It should. She's referring to a member of the 77th class, all of whom are deceased, though they are some rumors that some may have survived. But the one she refers to did not have any siblings. **_

_**Asahina: You a 100% sure on that?**_

_**Togami: I would not make such a simple mistake. **_

Then we went to bed.

AN; so there! watashi kibou you enjoyed! Itll be more sugoi next chapter bcuz therell be a murder O-O

_**Naegi: So that's the first part? From the way Hagakure talked about it, I thought I'd be a lot worse. **_

_**Togami: She just said the next chapter will be better because someone will die, we all know who's that referring to. **_

_**Naegi: True… **_

_**Asahina: It's bad enough living it once. Actually now that I think about it, I slept in Sakura's room that night.**_

_**Togami: No need to pepper in useless information. **_

"Yo Kokoro-chan, wake up!"

Huh...?

I opened my eyes to see Mirai sitting on me, probably in an attempt to wake me up.

"Time for breakfast, asshat!" Unmei said.

_**Asahina: That's kind of rude. **_

"That was sooooo uncalled for, Unmei!" Nozomi scolded.

_**Naegi: I honestly can not tell the difference between any of them.**_

"Well excuuuuse me for being hungry. And she's holding us all up!"

"Actually, that would be Yume, because it was her idea to wait for Kokoro to wake up." Mirai stated.

"S-sorry! I thought it would be a good idea!" Yume stuttered.

"I could've eaten fore-"

"Just give me my clothes. I'll get dressed, then we'll go down and eat."

Mirai got up, and threw me my clothes.

I walked into the bathroom, and got dressed.

_**Togami: *yawn***_

We then made our way down to breakfast, and it appeared we weren't the last ones in the room. There was no sign of Sayaka Maizono, Makoto Naegi, Byakuya Togami, or Leon Kuwata.

_**Naegi: That's actually pretty accurate… I think. It was a while ago. **_

_**Togami: I'm surprised. You're usually quite good at remembering pointless details. **_

Leon walked in right after us, agitated about something or other. But then again, when WASN'T Leon agitated?

_**Asahina: Huh? Leon was a pretty passionate guy, wouldn't call it agitated. **_

_**Naegi: They just met, they can't make an assumption like that. **_

Then came Byakuya.

And Naegi.

"Hey, where's Maizono-san?" He asked.

"Nobody knows. She hasn't shown up yet," Celestia said.

"I'll go up and check on her," said Naegi.

And with that, he was gone.

"So why don't we actually get-"

_**Togami: At first this was offensive, now it's just dull. **_

_**Naegi: Well, that's better, right?**_

Unmei's sentence was interrupted by a very loud scream.

_**Togami: It was extremely loud.**_

_**Naegi: It wasn't that loud.**_

_**Asahina: Yeah, it was really loud. Like, shattering glass loud. **_

_**Togami: Some of us thought it was Maizono. **_

_**Naegi: H-hey… **_

_**Asahina: I-I didn't think so.**_

_**Togami: Weren't you the one who yelled, "I think Maizono's in trouble?"**_

_**Asahina: Y-yeah.**_

I ran up to see what was going on, and was accompanied by Asahina and Nozomi.

We walk into Maizono's room, and see no one. So we walk in a little further, and see the bathroom.

_**Togami: The room was utterly destroyed, I thought they would have mentioned that.**_

_**Naegi: It was the first thing I noticed. **_

The door has been broken down, so we can easily see the scene in the shower.

There lied Maizono's body, amongst a bunch of blood. Naegi kneeled in front, sobbing quite loudly.

_**Asahina: Naegi fainted, actually. **_

"Ding dong! A body has been found! Everyone meet back at the gymnasium for more announcements!"

How could this have happened...?

_**Togami: Probably because you were completely useless and ineffectual, you little unobservant prepubescent brat. **_

AN: So there's the next chappie! First murder too... OwO Watashi am so glad i could get this finished up! Sorry about the lack of art... haven't had the time... so ill just give you the beta designs for every1! i was originally going to include one of my sdr2 ocs in this fic, so thats why theres one extra person. ily all! arigatou for reading!

_**Togami: ...Don't care.**_

_**Naegi: This wasn't nearly as bad as you said it would be. **_

_**Asahina: Yeah, because you don't know the worst part.**_

_**Naegi: Their talents, right? What on earth could be that bad?**_

_**Togami: I don't understand you. You, the man who defeated Junko Enoshima, could be so utterly naive. It's mind-boggling.**_

_**Asahina: At least it's over. **_

_**Naegi: True as truth.**_

_**Togami: God, that imbecile is rubbing off on you. **_

_**Asahina: Better than your snobbiness.**_

_**Togami: I am not snobby. I am just fully aware of my superiority over certain groups of people. **_

_**Naegi: Let's just get back to work. **_


	8. Chapter 8: Hope and Prejudice

Chapter 8: Hope and Prejudice

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an Ultimate Despair in possession of despair, must be in want of more despair.

Another truth universally acknowledged, that a Future Foundation member in possession of hope, must be in want of more hope.

However, when a Future Foundation member is in possession of bad fanfiction, they always want to send back to the pits of hell whence it came.

"Dudettes, are we going to read it or not?" Hagakure asked. Kirigiri and Fukawa just glared at him.

Silently, Kirigiri opened the file with a gloved hand. The first picture was of a familiar rainbow haired girl. Hagakure didn't recognize her, but he figured that all of them were the same, so it didn't matter, and he wouldn't think about it. That's how he approaches most of his problems.

*'**"***"**'*

AN: YAY, SO LIK IM RLY EXCITING TO PUTT OUT DIS CHAPTAH B/C PPL HAV BEEN LIKING DIS STORI AND WATASHI IS RULY HAPPY! SUGOI! SO... DONT FLAMEEE BC I RLUY LIKE DIS AND UR BEING A BAKA SO YEA.

_**Fukawa: I-I don't believe for a second that anyone actually enjoyed this. **_

_**Kirigiri: I second that notion. **_

When I found her, Kirigiri was sitting at a table in the cafeteria. She was reading a book and wasn't paying attention to Fukawa who was bitching at her because Togami was staring at her and not Fukawa.

_**Fukawa: First off, I w-wouldn't talk to Kirigiri if I was following my white knight! And what makes you think that he would be looking at … at… her?! **_

_**Hagakure: Yeah, even if Toges liked someone, he wouldn't be so obvious. Even I know that!**_

_**Kirigiri: He's cold and straightforward about emotions. His idea of a confession would be *ahem* I find you to be suitable partner and superior to all the other plebeians. **_

_**Fukawa: My white knight isn't that snooty-sounding! And he would be more romantic about it… ah… **_

Fukawa is always SOOOOOO jelous of everyone because she's such a bitch.

_**Fukawa: Jealous? Jealous? I am not jealous of you, even living garbage like me is a thousand times better than you! Your work pales in comparisons to the triumphs of romance that I create! **_

"Hi Kirigiri-chan!" I said, sitting down next to her.

"Hello, Jirijiri-san." She said, not looking up. She looked really upset and for some reason.

"Will you walk with me for a bit?" I asked.

_**Kirigiri: I refuse to associate myself with this pale mockery carrying my name. **_

"Sure." She said. We left the cafeteria and went to my room. My room was bigger than all the others because Monokuma-sama wanted to make sure I was comfortable.

_**Hagakure: Nah, Monokuma treated everyone the same. **_

_**Fukawa: Yeah… Ikusaba's room was the same. **_

_**Hagakure: And Ogre's. She was technically a traitor. **_

We sat down on the floor, "Hey Kirigiri-chan, did you know that Togami-kun really likes you?"

"Huh? He does?" She looked shocked, "I had no idea. I thought he hated me. He's kinda mean to me sometimes."

_**Kirigiri: I am more perceptive than that. Should I also mention the futility of romance in an environment where we were supposed to kill each other? **_

_**Hagakure: And Toges is rude to everyone. **_

"Don't you know? Sometimes if a guy likes you, he'll be mean to you on the outside, but he actually really likes you a lot!" I took her gloved hands in mine.

_**Fukawa: N-not that all contrivance! It's fine in moderation, as with most tropes, but I'm tired of… of… tsunderes! Ugh, my mouth feels filthy using that word. One should be honest with their feelings!**_

_**Hagakure: But isn't that what you think about how Toges treats you?**_

_**Fukawa: Th-that's different! **_

"I never thought about it that way." She said, "You have nice gloves." She looked at my purple gloves.

"Thanks! So do you!" I knew all about her scars. Back when we were in school together, she showed them to me because we were best friends and I showed her mine. We were sort of like 'scar sisters'.

_**Kirigiri: I would not willingly associate with someone as self-centered as her. And I don't show my scars to just anyone. **_

"Is there a reason you wear them?" She asked. Monokuma-sama took away her memories so tht she wouldn't remember her talent, but she still had all the skills of a detective!

"Yes... I wear them to cover some really ugly scars..." I said.

_**Fukawa: C-copycat. **_

"S-so do I." She seemed kinda surprised, "But I never show them to anyone because... Well, the last time I showed them to a boy he called me ugly and was really mean to me."

_**Kirigiri: That is not true at all. Don't make things up. Also, I wouldn't remember or reveal that information. It's official. I'm not even going to pretend this is supposed to be me. **_

_**Hagakure: Fake-giri?**_

_**Fukawa: That sounds stupid. **_

"That sounds a lot like my life in a nut shell." I said.

"I don't see how anyone could say you're ugly or hate you." She said, "I mean, look at your hair! It's so long and silky! With such a nice color." She said playing with a strand.

_**Fukawa: Th-that's kind of creepy. I wouldn't want anyone touching my hair, except for my white knight. **_

"Aw! Thank you! Yours is really nice too!" I said, "We should hang out more!"

"Yeah." She smiled, "Sometime, I'd like to braid your hair, if that's ok."

_**Kirigiri: I might take you up on that nickname, Hagakure. **_

_**Fukawa: Don't st-stoop that low. **_

"That'd be great!" I stood up, "But first, let's go talk to Togami-kun!"

"Ok." She said. We left my room and went to look for Togami. We found him in one of the class rooms hanging out withNaegi. I sat down next to Naegi and he put his arm around me. Kirigiri walked up to Togami and then kissed him.

_**. . . **_

_**Fukawa: I am becoming numb to this. I shouldn't be numb to this violation of all common sense and all I believe in. **_

_**Hagakure: Fake-giri and Faux-gami sitting in a tree… yeah, that doesn't have a ring to it. **_

_**Kirigiri: I think Faux-gami has a ring to it. **_

_**Fukawa: Only the real one is my white knight!**_

Naegi and I went 'Aw!' Because they were cute together. but they weren't as cute as us, just sayin'.

_**Hagakure: No comment, dude. **_

YAY! WATASHI rly likED WRITING DIS SU IF U FLAM UR AN IMOYARO OR IMO NE-CHAN! AN TOGIRI IS REALLY CUT SO DONUT DIS IT OK SO YEAH. :3

_**Kirigiri: Well, that was quick. **_

_**Fukawa: Th-thanks goodness for that. **_


	9. Chapter 9: Storms Brewing

Chapter 9: Storms Brewing

Fukawa was stalking Togami. However, this was different from the usual stalking. Usually she would be satisfied by simply basking in his presence, but not this time. Apparently recent events shook her up more than usual. Now she was interfering whenever Togami tried to interact with another human being, male or female.

However, Fukawa does not realize that characters don't have to interact to be shipped together. Not to mention, this was seriously starting to bug the crap out of Togami, and since he was already a bit insufferable, currently he was downright venomous.

"H-hey, Togami, Fukawa." Naegi meekly, holding another accursed file in his hands. "Do you want to read this with me? Should be quick, right?"

"N-no way in hell!" Fukawa shouted, standing way too close to the esteemed ear of Byakuya Togami.

Togami adjusted his glasses, trying his best to ignore her, a pointless action. "Which one is it?"

"The one with the five underaged-" Naegi started, but Togami took the file out of his hands and opened it up.

*'**"***"**'*

AN: A new chapter so soon?! OuO Hai! Watashi was soooooo excited to get the trial and investigation up that watashi started writing right away!

_**Togami: Maizono just died, correct?**_

_**Naegi: Yeah… **_

Naegi collapsed in front of Asahina, Nozomi and I, and was out cold.

_**Naegi: Wait, which one is Nozomi?**_

_**Togami: They're interchangable, it makes no difference. **_

So we had to carry him down to the gymnasium for whatever announcement that dumb bear was going to give us. Probably something dumb.

_**Fukawa: I-is dumb the only adjective that you know? Th-there are many others, words that would be best used to describe you: asinine, ignorant, obtuse, slow-witted-**_

_**Naegi: We get the point. **_

_**Togami: Brainless numbskulls. **_

Maybe a distraction to get Maizono's body out of her room. Who would want to get out so badly as to kill someone...?

_**Togami: Everyone. Everyone wanted to get out badly. And as the following events, prove, multiple people were willing to kill each other. I never understood how you could be so naive, Naegi. People have killed for far less. Like the disappointment to my left. **_

_**Fukawa: I-I never killed anyone! Well, not me- me, but you know that is simply-**_

_**Togami: Personally, I was planning on killing Naegi, and leaving contradictory evidence to pin it on everyone else, but Celes already enacted her little scheme. **_

_**Naegi: Wait. WHAT?**_

_**Togami: It was just a thought I entertained after the second case. But of course Kirigiri would be an issue, so killing you both would probably have been in my best interest. But I am above petty things like murder. **_

When we walked in the gym, everyone was already there. Nozomi and I accompanied Yume, Unmei, and Mirai, while Asahina went back to Sakura, and cried on her own.

"Do you believe this?" Yume asked.

"H...Hai..." Nozomi said, almost inaudibly.

Monokuma then wandered in from who knows where.

_**Fukawa: If you paid the slightest bit of attention, Monokuma appeared from beneath the floorboards usually. **_

"Alright! So a murder has been committed, as you could probably tell from my body discovery announcement."

Chihiro started to cry fairly loudly.

"Now what you've gotta do is investigate the crime scene, and see if you can figure out whodunnit! After that, you'll take an elevator to the trial room, where you have to debat about the killer until we can get to a verdict! If you do get the right person, only the blackened is executed. But if you get the wrong guy, all of the innocents get executed, and the killer walks free!"

_**Togami: That is a very condensed version of the rules. Also, there's a misspelling. **_

"What kind of bullshit is this?" Junko yelled. "None of us asked for this!"

She walked up to Monokuma, and stepped on him.

"Oh no! Save me, Gungnir spears!"

An assortment of spears penetrated Junko's body, and her blood soon came gushing out. "What...is...this...?"

Junko collapsed, and wasn't breathing.

_**Naegi: This - this is - You fail to grasp the severity of the situation. You treat as if it is a fact that must be told to get to your couple pairing bullshit. This is the first time we saw someone die in front of us. We lost a treasured classmate who did not deserve her fate. This blatant disrespect makes me sick. **_

_**Fukawa: Th-that is what makes you sick? Not the complete lack of understanding of our personalities and how we interact with each other? And how me and my white knight are destined for each other? **_

_**Togami: No. **_

"You... Baka! Aho!" Unmei exclaimed.

"I think I did a film like that once. Except the penetration wasn't actually through my body." Mirai added.

_**Fukawa: … Someone's unashamed of her lack of standards.**_

Monokuma appeared again. "Remember, acts of violence against the Headmaster are forbidden. Bastards. Anyways, go investigate."

We all walked back to Maizono's room. Luckily Naegi woke up, so he got all the info and things. He looked around a lot during the investigation, along with Togami and Kirigiri. I found a note, and noticed a sword. There was also some numbers that Maizono was writing down, 11037. Why would she write some baka numbers?

After the investigation, we all went into the elevator to the trial room.

_**Naegi: Are you serious? That's all the investigation gets? What about the furnace? And Kirigiri found that note by rubbing on the indentations. There was no "note" to find. And the sheath was there along with the sword. The key in the cases were in the details. **_

You could almost feel the sense of despair radiating off of everyone.

_**Togami: I personally felt no despair. I was confident I- we, would find the killer. **_

_**Naegi: You all thought I did it. **_

"Upupupupupupu! Who's ready to get this show on the road?" Monokuma exclaimed. "So right now is just a free debate time, where you all talk it out, and then we vote, and chose your fate."

"It has to be Naegi! He was the one who was with Maizono the most, right? Plus he was late to breakfast." said Hagakure.

"That's wrong! I wouldn't do anything like that! And I was being harassed by a certain bear..." Naegi countered.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself!" Monokuma giggled.

"Anyone else find any evidence?" Kirigiri asked.

"I traded rooms with Maizono last night, because she was scared someone was going to kill her. But somehow, the nameplates were switched!"

"Then you have to be the guilty party!"

"That's wrong! The damage to the bathroom door was done because they didn't know how to open it, whereas Monokuma told me about my defective door beforehand."

_**Togami: The proceedings were not this swift. Someone took his sweet time figuring out the obvious. **_

_**Naegi: That's unfair and uncalled for! **_

_**Fukawa: Who even is saying what? None of the dialogue indicates who is speaking. Not that it matters, no one had anything worthwhile to say, except for my white knight. **_

_**Togami: Your attention continues to disgust me. **_

"And I found a note, telling some mystery person to meet Maizono in her room."

"I found a bunch of shattered glass, and a piece of a bloodstained shirt."

"And there were some numbers written in blood... What, was that like, her iPhone passcode or something?"

"I think I've got it." Kirigiri said. "Maizono pretended to be scared, and switched rooms and nameplates with Naegi. She then told the killer to come to her room, and he couldn't help but oblige. But Maizono attempted to kill him, and so he ended up chasing her into the bathroom, where she was stabbed. The killer got blood on their shirt, so they wrapped it around a little glass ball, and threw it into the fire."

_**Naegi: YOU GOT THAT WRONG! Kirigiri put the burden of proof on me so I could figure out the truth for myself so I could accept it!**_

_**Fukawa: Sh-she was coddling you. **_

"We still don't know who it is though..." Nozomi said.

"I'm just getting to that. You see, the message Maizono was trying to convey wasn't numbers, but rather the name of her killer. Because if you flip the numbers upside down, it says the name Leon."

_**Togami: This takes all the fun out of it. Nips the mystery right in the bud. **_

"N-Nani?" I said.

"This would also explain why he threw the ball into the fire, because no one could have accomplished that but the SHSL Baseball Player."

"What? THIS DOESN'T ADD UP! AHO! AHO! AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO AHO!"

_**Naegi: I can't- I can't handle this. This kills all of the emotion during the trial, it's meaning, it's significance. This lacks the respect that Maizono and Leon deserve!**_

"Well, I guess it's time to vote for our killer!"

Everyone voted, and it was nearly silent, with the exception of Leon.

"You bastards actually got it right! Good for you. Game over for Leon Kuwata!"

A metal cuff clamped onto Leon's neck, and dragged him away.

He was then strapped onto a pole of some sort, and appeared to be in a baseball field. Monokuma stood in front of him, with a ball launcher. All of the sudden, balls started shooting at Leon.

_**Fukawa: Narratively, this fails in keeping our attention, going way too fast to process the information being provided, assuming that we already know everything going on. This further proves that the addition of these extra… I can't even call them characters, changes nothing! **_

Mirai turned to me and whispered, "Basically me."

_**Naegi: … No, just no. **_

Leon was beaten and bruised, his blood everywhere.

And we have already lost two students in one day.

_**Togami: And you don't seem to care. Sociopath. **_

_**Naegi: You're one to talk, Togami. **_

_**Fukawa: My white knight can't bother with useless emotions that detract from him being absolutely perfect!**_

_**Togami: I am not perfect. I have to deal with you. **_

_**Naegi: That's… rather harsh. **_

AN: So yah! Watashi am so happy I could get this up today! Watashi kibou you enjoyed! OwO

_**Fukawa: H-how can anyone enjoy this?! **_

_**Naegi: It's all in poor taste. **_

*'**"***"**'*

_Back in the Towa City Alleyway… _

"How's the latest recruit doing?" One of the girls asked, walking towards the group, holding a bag of food.

"She's still upset and refuses to talk to us. I told you kidnapping was a bad idea."

"We still need more people working on this. It's tiresome trying to make something so bad."

"Bad? Bad?! We are creating works of art!"

"Art? That's what you call it! It's offensive and it hurts the people we care about!" She protested.

"Quiet." The girl currently sitting at the laptop said. From the way the silence fell, it was clear she was the leader. "We do this because we care. We cause despair to show our appreciation. Also, it's a great excuse for wish-fulfillment."

"Then how come Togami's still alive?"

The leader did not have an answer to that.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Kirigiri-sama and the Santo Smashers

"Hagakure, this is ridiculous." Kirigiri said bluntly.

"Two visions in a row! Yeah, the first time might be a mistake-" Hagakure weakly defended himself.

"All of your predictions are mistakes." Asahina muttered, "Besides, we have enough stalking to go around. Fukawa's been worse than usual."

"Hagakure, as punishment for your incompetence, you have to join me for another chapter. Let's see…" Kirigiri flipped through the file, "You Shook Me All Night Long. What kind of title is that?"

Asahina groaned. "I almost forgot about that one. I can't remember… but I don't think this one is as blatantly offensive."

"Righty then dudettes!" Cried Hagakure, "Let's do it!"

*'**"***"**'*

Chapter Two: Evil Ways

We all filed into the gym, me staying close to Kirigiri. Naegi was basically clinging to Togami,

_**Kirigiri: Whoever this chick is, I don't want her near me.**_

_**Asahina: You're not bothered by the Naegi bit?**_

_**Kirigiri: Fukawa would murder him eventually. If she didn't, I would. **_

and Togami looked annoyed as hell, but he wasn't pulling away from Naegi.

_**Hagakure: I don't get it. Why do they think those two should go together? Toges is a rich prick, and Naegs has the hots for- well, actually I don't know.**_

_**Asahina: That's because you don't notice the obvious things. **_

Maizono kept shooting jealous looks at Togami, but I could tell they were hiding a layer of disgust, almost homophobia.

_**Kirigiri: … *sigh* I doubt Maizono is homophobic. Stop villainizing her. She did one terrible action. That's all. She betrayed Naegi, something which I also did by lying during the fifth trial, which almost got him killed. **_

If I was stronger, I probably would've gone full Edge-mode and Speared her (an: watashi luvs wwe! edge is sugoi, y did he retire so soooooon). But, not only was I the size of an average Diva today, I was a lot nicer than that. Think less Chyna, more Brie Bella (an: im nt sayin brie is a bad diva desu! watashi's just sayin tat shes a good pointeru of referene to tell u how small kanade-chan is, sinc brie is a LOT smaller tan say her twin anesan nikki).

_**Asahina: What? **_

_**Hagakure: Those are wrestling references, duh!**_

_**Kirigiri: Are they accurate? **_

_**Hagakure: Not a clue. **_

_**Kirigiri: Well, that was pointless. It only proved that she's violent.**_

So, I restrained myself. But I made a mental note to put her in a Sharpshooter later, or even a Yes Lock.

While I was thinking, I heard the voice again.

"Hi, hey there, hello! Is everyone here? Good! Now, let's get this thing rolling!"

_**Asahina: Monokuma never fails to be convenient. **_

We all looked up at the front, and out jumped… a teddy bear? That's what it looked like at least. He was white on one side, and black on the other. I guess it was supposed to look terrifying or something, but it just looked absolutely ridiculous. He waddled to the front of the podium.

_**Kirigiri: Ridiculous is one word for Monokuma. A word that you would never use in his presence. **_

"I… Am… Monokuma! And I… Am your school's headmaster!"

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused. "You're a teddy bear. I don't think teddy bears can control a dust bunny, let alone a school."

"I am not a teddy bear!" Monokuma growled. "I am Monokuma!"

"Hold on," Kirigiri said, standing tall and fearless. I was so engrossed by her.

_**Hagakure: How come you guys get all the attention? **_

_**Asahina: Because they're more attractive than you.**_

_**Hagakure: I'm 21! I have that older, mature, kind of appeal!**_

_**Asahina: No, no you don't. **_

"How do we know you're not lying?"

"Easy!" Monokuma said. "First, none of you can leave this school, unless you graduate!"

"What do you mean by that?" Fujisaki asked, clearly scared. Mondo petted her head.

_**Kirigiri: You got that wrong! The relationships between all of us have not developed to that point yet!**_

_**Asahina: Yeah! Not even Sakura and I were friends yet!**_

"To graduate, you have to murder someone! Oh, but if you don't want to, you can stay here for the rest of your life! Bye!"

Monokuma jumped down, and left us all in stunned silence.

_**Hagakure: Pretty sure there were more rules than that. **_

Why would I want to kill someone? I was so afraid of all of this, I felt myself breathing heavily.

"Santo-san, are you okay?" I heard Celes ask. I couldn't answer, as the world turned to black a second time that day, and I fell.

_**Asahina: She's more of a wimp than Naegi. I mean, not that Naegi's a wimp, but he's a little…**_

_**Kirigiri: Passive. Not to mention he can reach a higher pitch than I ever could. **_

I woke up in a room, and I was confused. Where was I? I got up out of the bed I was in, and looked around. It looked like a hotel room, without a mini-fridge or a T.V. or a little cup. But it did have a bathroom, and it did have a few amenities, and it had my suitcase. There was a key and keychain on the table. Looking at it, the keychain was light pinku,

_**Hagakure: Pinku? What is that- a combination of pink and ecru?**_

_**Asahina: Ecru? You're making that up.**_

_**Hagakure: No, it's a real color! It's like a beige-y sort of yellow color. **_

_**Kirigiri: Huh, learn something new, I suppose. **_

apparently Monokuma needed to remind me that I had ovaries and was fine with that. But it also had my name, Kanade Santo, etched into the pink block with gold lettering. So, I concluded it was my room. I carefully walked outside, making sure to control my breathing. Outside my door, Celes was waiting for me.

"Santo-chan, are you okay?" Celes asked, concern flooding her voice.

_**Asahina: Since when did Celes ever care about other people? I mean, she warmed up to us after a while. A long while. You know, before the killing game. **_

"Yeah, I am fine," I lied. How could I be fine? I could die at any moment. But for some reason, I trusted Celes.

_**Hagakure: Why?! She reeks suspicious!**_

_**Kirigiri: You're only saying that because she framed you for murder. **_

"Celes-chan, what happened after I passed out?"

"Well, Owada-san knocked Naegi-kun out, it was so fast. I believe Naegi-kun was trying to defend something Togami-san said?

_**Asahina: Wrong! Togami was being a prick and Naegi was trying to stop them from fighting! How hard is it to get these details wrong?!**_

_**Kirigiri: According to all of these, it's really easy to get it wrong. Even worse than Hagakure's prediction rate. **_

_**Hagakure: 100% accurate, 30% of the time guys!**_

Then Monokuma gave us all our keys to our rooms, and told us to read the rules. I believe Owada-san nearly got killed by Monokuma becoming a bomb… But the rules said you couldn't sleep anywhere that wasn't your dorm, so Kirigiri-san carried you here. She had to leave to investigate, but she was concerned about you."

"Well, it's nice to know someone cares about me," I said, trying to contain my doki doki. Kirigiri-sama… liked me?

_**Kirigiri: Kirigiri-sama wants to barf. **_

"Hey, uh, I'm gonna put on my Hime-kami front, so I'm gonna act… kind of bitchy. Don't take it personally, okay, Celes-chan?"

_**Asahina: Meaning that she'll act like Celes.**_

_**Hagakure: Isn't that mean to say?**_

_**Kirigiri: Not really. Celes put up a similar "Princess" front. **_

"Okay, Santo-san."

When I entered the cafeteria, I saw Naegi talking to Sayaka. Naegi waved to us, and when Celes waved back, Sayaka sneered at me. Of course she'd hate me, ChiUta sold more copies of "Silent Cicadas" than Sayaka's band did of their single, "Smile for Tonight."

_**Asahina: Maizono wouldn't hate a rival band! She would enjoy the competition to hype up the press and keep the attention going to raise sales! I know I like having a good rival to keep me excited and on my A-game!**_

When everyone filed in, I stood up.

"Listen everyone, I demand your attention!" I shouted, in my most demanding voice. "My name is Hime-kami, and I wish to be addressed as such! You may also call me Kami-sama, Ohime-sama, Hime-sama, or Hime-kami-sama! I demand to be treated like a princess, as I am such! You must cater to my will, understand?"

_**Hagakure: Nobody would put up with that. Not even Naegi, and he puts up with everyone. **_

"And if we don't?" Togami asked. He looked at me, and I could understand where he was coming from. I was kind of a bitch, but I couldn't let him win. I gasped loudly.

"How dare you even SUGGEST such a thing to the one and only Hime-kami! I am the number one princess, and I deserve to be treated as such!" I turned my nose at him.

_**Kirigiri: Can I kill her? **_

_**Asahina: You'd have to join the club. **_

_**Kirigiri: I'd be the president of that club. Kirigiri-sama and the Santo Smashers. **_

_**Hagakure: It's gotta ring to it. **_

_**Asahina: Kind of sounds like a rock band name or something. **_

_**Hagakure: Better name than ChiUta. **_

"The only two who are allowed to adress me as Santo-san and the like are Celes-chan and Kirigiri-saaaaaaa-n!" Phew! I almost called her Kirigiri-sama! that would have been embarrassing!

_**Asahina: Favoritism, much? **_

A few days passed, nothing much happening, other than talking to people, and everyone was already fine with me being Hime-kami.

_**Kirigiri: Lies. Someone would have murdered you. Probably Celes. **_

In the morning, we all gathered to eat breakfast. I made everyone waffles, and everyone loved them.

_**Asahina: Nope! The only breakfast food for me are donuts! Waffles are nothing but a sad, pathetic imitation! They are nothing but despair! **_

Thank god for easy-to-follow directions. On this day, we talked about things that we saw, when we heard the grating voice.

_**Kirigiri: Grating? I wouldn't call Monokuma's grating, per se… **_

"WHY ARE YOU ALL STILL ALIVE?! THIS IS BORING AS HELL! Trapped in a small space with a bunch of high schoolers? I would have offed you all off faster than you can say 'cyanide cookies'!"

_**Hagakure: What the hell? The tone just kind of… shifted. **_

_**Kirigiri: That's almost… kind of funny. **_

_**Asahina: I mean, it sounds like Monokuma, but Monokuma never said anything like that. **_

Monokuma griped. I rolled my eyes.

"Monokuma, why have you decided to interrupt me, Hime-kami, and my breakfast?" I asked. Kirigiri rubbed my arm, calming me down.

_**Kirigiri: I would not touch her, unless it was incapacitating her in some fashion. **_

"Well, I have something to kick this killing game off!"

_**Asahina: Yeah, we know, the videos. **_

_**Hagakure: What was in your video? **_

_**Asahina: Well… it was… my little brother being in danger. **_

_**Hagakure: Yeah, for me, it was my mom. **_

_**Asahina: I don't know why, but it's weird to think that a guy like you has a mom. Is she anything like you?**_

_**Hagakure: Nope! **_

_**Kirigiri: Well, we're done here. Asahina, want to hit the gym?**_

_**Asahina: Sure! That's a little unexpected of you.**_

_**Kirigiri: I need some stress-relief. **_

(AN: It's sad, but I can't get this image of Kirigiri-sama and the Santo Smashers out of my head; Naegi on lead vocals, Kirigiri on lead guitar, Asahina on drums, Hagakure on cowbell, with Togami as the manager and Fukawa the groupie.)


End file.
